Well, its been a while since my last post. Almost a year now and while I can't say the last year of healing has been easy, I can say that I'm very glad to be looking at the last days of 2008.
In a nut shell the year following our loss brought with it more joy and pain once again.
In April 2008 we went through another IVF cycle which resulted in once again a pregnancy. An ultrasound at 8 weeks showed a healthy heartbeat with a singleton. We were elated and somewhat relieved. Once a heartbeat is seen, the miscarriage rate technically drops to less than 5%.
But as is always our luck, we fell into that small percentile (on the wrong side again) and our joy was short lived when a follow up ultrasound at 10 weeks showed the baby's heart had stopped beating (less than 5% miscarriage rate after a heart beat is detected).
This loss certainly wasn't as hard as the loss of the boys but it did bring up so many memories and fears of whether our dreams to become parents would ever been realized.
The months following that loss have been difficult but beautiful in many ways. I've started seeing the beauty in our lives once again beginning with the amazing husband I have. As I look at so many families around me I know I wouldn't trade what I have for anything and I feel blessed just knowing that the person I choose to be my family completes that roll so completely.
As follow up to our pPROM pregnancy loss, there has really been no straight answer from the doctors other than "bad luck". Yup, you heard it...two separate doctors that have reviewed our file have deemed our loss as bad luck. Not the type of comfort your looking for when your spending your retirement savings on trying to get pregnant again and wondering if your body will be able to carry a pregnancy to term. It would be nice though to know when that bad luck is planning on ending...
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