Our New Normal - for now

Yesterday was a stressful day.  Not for medical reasons, but for emotional/juggling support reasons.

Dwayne and I are learning (and partly reliving) the need to rely on others for support and help.  Its hard.  Its hard to ask for help (especially when we're both in a position where we've asked for help from the other persons family) and when our journey ahead of us has no obvious end in sight, its hard to know when you need the help the most (and when you really need to push those around you to step up) or whether you can simply juggle things yourself and make do (even though the concept of making do for 4 months seems daunting).

Alas, last night when I was lying in bed I realized that this up-rooted limbo stage is for now our new normal.  We simply need to get used to it.

We have seen some wonderful gifts of generousity and without these incredibly selfless gifts we would be forced into a postion where we would be putting Payton's life in jeopardy.  Its a delicate balance of not wanting to impose but yet knowing we're imposing and trying to find a happy medium where we don't feel like we have to beg for the help that we do truely need (but at times feel too uncomfortable to ask for).

Alas, we'll get it (I hope) because we need to get it.  We can't do this alone - we need to rely on others and for some small steps in our journey, we need to ask others take the burden - even if its uncomfortable for us to do so.

For now, I'm going to leave you with a photo of where I'm staying.  I have been blessed by those around me who have made me feel so incredibly welcome despite knowing I'm uprooting their lives.  Dwayne of course has his own challenges and I've been trying to help, but on some level, he needs to resign himself to the same fate as I have - begging :).

So a wonderful suggestion to anyone who's reading.  If you know someone going through a hard time, don't say to them "let me know if you need anything" (because guarenteed they do, but its simply too hard to ask) instead say "what can I do for you" and if the answer's nothing...perhaps an ear to listen to, a box of chocolates (I like truffles), a word of support or a home cooked meal, without them asking. Guarenteed it would go along way and would be the type of kindness never forgotten. 

You'd be surprised by how many are there who do need something but just don't feel comfortable enough to ask for it.