Mundane Hospital Life

Yesterday I had a rare and very special treat.  Dwayne (and uncle Mike) brought Livy by while they were in town. 

She was sufficiently tired that she was calm and just curled up beside me with her head against me repeating "Mommy" over and over.  It was wonderful and so bittersweet all at the same time.  I couldn't get enough of her.  They visited for about an hour and when it was time to go Dwayne picked her up, where she curled into his chest and went to leave the room.  Last second she turned to me and said "Mommy, come??".  We had to tell her no, Mommy had to stay and then she started to cry.

She's a trooper, we were able to distract her pretty quickly but even now, thinking about how much I miss her, and the fact that she misses me and doesn't understand why is hard and it breaks my heart to even think for a second that she's hurting.

I learned today that she had a hard night last night, waking up frequently crying so maybe the visit (or more so the goodbye) was harder on her than we thought.

Still, I wouldn't trade that hour yesterday for anything in the world.

Today, we have a game plan.

I'm still seeing just a bit of blood but its eased up enough that its not a real concern. 

We have a scheduled ultrasound for Tuesday but they're going to see if it can be pushed up to tomorrow.

In addition to that, they've lifted my Level 2 bedrest to Level 3 allowing me a bit more activity.  They said if all goes well with increased activity (ie no more bleeding) and things look good with the ultrasound I can check out of the hospital.

But, I will be moving to Vancouver just a bit earlier (upon hospital check out) - either until the placental previa clears up (still a possiblity) or till I deliver.  Which ever comes 1st.

Essentially, I could go back to Squamish but the Peri said that once you bleed with placental previa, until it moves away from the cervix, bleeding tends to repeat.  Since there is such a high risk of hemmoraging with previa related bleeding, being in Squamish may result in an emergency c-section, in a facility that's not designed to do c-sections, in order to get baby out and clamp off the embilical cord (the only way to stop a hemmoraging placenta).  If hemmoraging occurs, there wouldn't be enough time to get to an equipted hopsital - even via air.

Delivering Payton in Squamish (even full term) is about as bad as it can get.  With the very basic and minimal ventilation support, Payton's survival rate would severaly drop - deliverying as early as 30 weeks (or anytime before 37) would be a death sentence for her.  So move it is.

Dwayne's sister, Deanna, has graciously allowed me to stay with her (at least until we start our Easter Seals on July 9th) and I have to say this is a real testament to her resolve because she's scheduled to move at the end of the month.  The good news is she now has help...with me being an added inconvinience we'll definitely be doing all we can to minimize any negative impact my staying with her will have.

Hopefully, if the previa isn't seen to have improved on tomorrow's/Tuesday's ultrasound, it will have within a week or so and I can move back home with peace of mind.

Its too bad though, staying with Deanna that alcohol is out.  It would have made for a much quicker, funner time if we had the option to crack a few open each night to handle each others company.

So there it is - another mundane day in the hospital but with a goal/plan and a little bit of hope that things will smooth out in the next couple of weeks.

That said, while missing Olivia after her visit last night I was flipping through my videos/pictures of her - missing her.

Here are some pictures we took after going to her cousin, Kurtis', graduation celebration.  Livy was all decked out so we had to take a few pics.  I've posted a few because its such a hoot to see how her little mind thinks (and I know Grandma will love seeing a few more pictures of the Little Bug).

Just seeing these puts a huge smile on my face :)  We really are so incredibly lucky.