Its hard to believe its been 4 weeks since my ambulance ride to Vancouver (last time I saw home). While it seems like we're moving forward, today it feels like' time is standing still.
After my 1st bleed the comment was made that instead of aiming for 38 weeks for a c-section we'd be looking at 37 weeks (the peri mentioned it may even be sooner). So I've been counting down the days, weeks as we near that 37 week mark, knowing we'd be nearing a whole slew of problems, but also knowing it was one day closer to being with Livy and being home.
Today's doctor's visit they finally determined that its time to scheduled a c-section date. What did they recommend?? 38+ weeks.
Just another example of discrepencies between doctors and lack of continuity.
There's a number of pros and cons associated with a 38+ section date and part of me wants to cry but also be relieved.
Pros:
Payton gets to stay in as long as possible thereby increasing her odds in her fight with her diaphragmatic hernia.
Putting off the fear thats looming as we near delivery.
Cons:
More time for another bleed (possibly resulting in so many bad things, the least being the remaining 4.5-5 weeks in hospital).
Increased risk of an emergency section (of which would not be to Payton's advantage).
More time away from home
More time that Payton is in my belly equates to more time other bad things can happen (lets face it, my body isn't exactly young nor is it doing a good job keeping her 100% safe like its supposed to).
More time at Easter Seals (out of pocket) which will equate to less time that Dwayne and I will be able to spend with Payton and Livy as we juggle work, spend quality NICU time and spend very important parenting time with Livy.
More time spent in the hospital if I have another bleed keeping me away from Livy.
On July 9th I'll move into Easter Seals (9 days) and at that point I'm going to do what I can to have Livy with me as much as possible. At the very least if we do make it till 38+ weeks, I'll have her nearby to make the long days and worry less noticable and more bearable.
So that's my 'feel sorry for myself' rant of the day. If all goes well Payton's Birthday will be somewhere between August 2nd-4th.
2 comments:
You can do it Renee. My mom is a nurse and every time i tell her how sick of bed rest I am and how ready I am to have Maddie out, she reminds me that every day pregnant is like 7 days in the NICU - so each day I can make it, that is 7 days sooner we'll all be home together again.
Eye on the prize Momma! You're girls are so lucky to have you.
Well good morning, Renee
I am still cheering for the very best for Payton and you; a little bed rest for you/gives Payton a better change - keep up the great work Renee - We are here for you!!
What can I do for you, My Dear!!
Love,
Auntie Bev
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