November 7th has come and gone for us. It was, as it has been for the 5 years prior to this, both wonderful and painful.
The wonderful of course very much out weights the painful and for that I'm incredibly grateful. Still, I allowed myself a small, reminiscent cry in the early morning hours, doing what I always do when I think of the sons I'll never watch grow; I imagine the "what if's".
This year our family day was chaotic and fun. We started the day with waffles (our new favourite breakfast...well Dwayne's and mine anyway). We then had our family photos taken and I'm so excited to see them. Olivia wanted to see a few after our photographer took her picture and the few we saw over her shoulder looked great.
Later that day we checked into the Mountain Retreat hotel for some ... WATERSLIDING!!!
For the 1st little bit we thought it was going to be a complete waste of a hotel room. Livy wasn't overly keen on hitting the slide, she was more interested in the warm hot tube (still, can't complain that she may be a heat seeker like I am). After a bit of coercing we had her up the slide with both Dwayne and I. Then just before packing it in for the afternoon Dwayne let her go down alone with me at the bottom a couple of times.
Payton even had a go at it in my lap for which I think she had mixed feelings about.
Later that evening we were joined by Livy and Payton's cousins and much to my surprise Livy headed the charge and was up and down the stairs/slide all on her own.
It was a wonderful day even though a part of me realized that our older daughter just took one more step towards independence and not 'needing' us. I little piece of my heart broke as she cut one more cord that makes us her 'everything' and the stark realization that she's growing up...man, even typing this I'm getting teary eyed thinking she'll be moving away from home soon. Ok, talking myself down from the ledge. "She's only 3!!"
Bit I digress. Today was wonderful. And I'm so incredibly content to have these two beautiful girls in my life. I'm grateful for the love that fills our lives. Everyday we remember that love, today is the day we celebrate that love.
Can't wait to see what we have in store for next year.
Wednesday, November 7, 2012
Monday, October 15, 2012
Wave of Light
Today we remember our angels and while I don’t need a day to remember my own angels, I remember and miss them every day, I try to keep this day special to honour and support of other parents who have lost, and those sweet angels who will follow, to remind them that they are not alone.
This evening we will be taking part in the Wave of Light
Everyone is invited to light a candle on October 15th at 7pm in ALL Time Zones, All over The World.
If everyone lights a candle at 7pm and keeps it burning for at least one hour, there will be a continuous WAVE OF LIGHT over the entire world on October 15th, Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day.
http://www.october15th.com/
Its purpose you may ask? Is so our angels in heaven can see this beautiful wave of light across the earth and know the whole world is thinking about them.
Today is also Dwayne and my wedding anniversary. Our 7th to be exact. While its a bittersweet day to share with the world, we like to look at it as "Every year on our Anniversary not only do we celebrate it with candlelight, but so do so many others" :)
Happy Anniversary Dwayne!!
This evening we will be taking part in the Wave of Light
Everyone is invited to light a candle on October 15th at 7pm in ALL Time Zones, All over The World.
If everyone lights a candle at 7pm and keeps it burning for at least one hour, there will be a continuous WAVE OF LIGHT over the entire world on October 15th, Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day.
http://www.october15th.com/
Its purpose you may ask? Is so our angels in heaven can see this beautiful wave of light across the earth and know the whole world is thinking about them.
Today is also Dwayne and my wedding anniversary. Our 7th to be exact. While its a bittersweet day to share with the world, we like to look at it as "Every year on our Anniversary not only do we celebrate it with candlelight, but so do so many others" :)
Happy Anniversary Dwayne!!
Tuesday, October 9, 2012
Goodbye Summer
Our lives have been fairly sedentary these last weeks as we've settled into Autumn which is just how I like it.
Payton has been doing well on the CDH front with only one trip the medi clinic this month. It would appear she is devoping asthma. While they won't officially diagnose her till she's 6, I've had asthma since I was a teenager and I recognize the wheezing. The doc did confirm her lungs sounded tight and she was on 'watch' in the event it got bad enough to take her to the ER for treatment. We didn't have to :). She's still recuporating from that cold and her fiesty spirit fights on in the form of screaming "no, no, no" whenever I try wiping her nose.
Yes, that means Payton's vocabulary is expanding. She's just so much fun right now and she does a great job with her animal sounds (dog goes ruf, truck goes broom, horse goes neah etc). She's also saying nose and I think 'mama' but thats still debatable.
On the sibling front, I will say now I am very apologetic to Payton for making her a younger sibling. Livy is doing the worlds worst adjustment of being a big sister and has resorted to punching and biting her little sister whenever she 'gets in the way' just a little too often. Fortunately its only been 2 times that Payton's gotten in the way too many times. Still, poor Payton has been sporting bite marks on her back for the last week.
Aside from the carnavore streak, Livy is doing well and continues to make me smile. Lately she's gotten into wanting to draw her name and has been practicing her letters. She's also learning to count past 20. She does really well until 29 where she needs a bit of help remembering 30 but starts up again only to need reminding at 40 etc. She gets the concept that she needs to start counting from 1 again (ie 31, 32) and it was adorable for a while when she would do 20-11, 20-12, 20-13.... I almost let her continue on because it was so cute (she would need reminding around 20-17). Then I realized that it may lead to problems and my amusement wasn't worth the potential torment of fixing that concept.
I've made the autumn transistion from being on a bike all summer to running again. Its been nice this fall. Its been so dry the creeks have dried up and while its sad that the salmon aren't running (thus we'll likely get hardly any eagles this winter) I can run on some of my favourite trails with the dogs without fear of them sporting dead salmon coats. There is NOTHING more foul than a dog who's rolled in salmon.
Dwayne continues to squeak out every last moment on his bike though he's taken to the trails running as well. The leaves are still mostly green on the trees but I think that balance will change in the next few days and soon enough the rain/snow and ice will make us wish we had taken advantage of it more.
This last weekend we started getting our Halloween decor out. Its early, yes but we have so much stuff it makes sense to take advantage of it and enjoy it longer. Livy is hilarious and she's very happy to play with much of the stuff though there are a few items that freak her right out...the severed foot being one of them. He's happily hanging out in a file cabinet until we can find a good home for him (maybe Auntie Monique's).
I'll be sure to get some pictures of our Halloween decor especially since Dwayne has taken an active interest in it. Suffice to say he's spent more in the last 3 days than I have over 3 years so our yard is quickly filling up. Should be interesting trying to find storage for this stuff.
On another note, we're still awaiting our pictures from our Tiny Light photo shoot and I've been assured that they are in the mail so hopefully I'll get them soon and I can share our favourites.
Payton has been doing well on the CDH front with only one trip the medi clinic this month. It would appear she is devoping asthma. While they won't officially diagnose her till she's 6, I've had asthma since I was a teenager and I recognize the wheezing. The doc did confirm her lungs sounded tight and she was on 'watch' in the event it got bad enough to take her to the ER for treatment. We didn't have to :). She's still recuporating from that cold and her fiesty spirit fights on in the form of screaming "no, no, no" whenever I try wiping her nose.
Yes, that means Payton's vocabulary is expanding. She's just so much fun right now and she does a great job with her animal sounds (dog goes ruf, truck goes broom, horse goes neah etc). She's also saying nose and I think 'mama' but thats still debatable.
On the sibling front, I will say now I am very apologetic to Payton for making her a younger sibling. Livy is doing the worlds worst adjustment of being a big sister and has resorted to punching and biting her little sister whenever she 'gets in the way' just a little too often. Fortunately its only been 2 times that Payton's gotten in the way too many times. Still, poor Payton has been sporting bite marks on her back for the last week.
Aside from the carnavore streak, Livy is doing well and continues to make me smile. Lately she's gotten into wanting to draw her name and has been practicing her letters. She's also learning to count past 20. She does really well until 29 where she needs a bit of help remembering 30 but starts up again only to need reminding at 40 etc. She gets the concept that she needs to start counting from 1 again (ie 31, 32) and it was adorable for a while when she would do 20-11, 20-12, 20-13.... I almost let her continue on because it was so cute (she would need reminding around 20-17). Then I realized that it may lead to problems and my amusement wasn't worth the potential torment of fixing that concept.
I've made the autumn transistion from being on a bike all summer to running again. Its been nice this fall. Its been so dry the creeks have dried up and while its sad that the salmon aren't running (thus we'll likely get hardly any eagles this winter) I can run on some of my favourite trails with the dogs without fear of them sporting dead salmon coats. There is NOTHING more foul than a dog who's rolled in salmon.
Dwayne continues to squeak out every last moment on his bike though he's taken to the trails running as well. The leaves are still mostly green on the trees but I think that balance will change in the next few days and soon enough the rain/snow and ice will make us wish we had taken advantage of it more.
This last weekend we started getting our Halloween decor out. Its early, yes but we have so much stuff it makes sense to take advantage of it and enjoy it longer. Livy is hilarious and she's very happy to play with much of the stuff though there are a few items that freak her right out...the severed foot being one of them. He's happily hanging out in a file cabinet until we can find a good home for him (maybe Auntie Monique's).
I'll be sure to get some pictures of our Halloween decor especially since Dwayne has taken an active interest in it. Suffice to say he's spent more in the last 3 days than I have over 3 years so our yard is quickly filling up. Should be interesting trying to find storage for this stuff.
On another note, we're still awaiting our pictures from our Tiny Light photo shoot and I've been assured that they are in the mail so hopefully I'll get them soon and I can share our favourites.
Wednesday, September 12, 2012
Gawk! What a month!!
Ok, the last few weeks have been a complete whirlwind.
It all started the day Livy decided she was going to wipe her bum and flush the toilet herself. Suffice to say, she felt she needed 3/4 a roll of toilet paper to wipe (not sure whether her bum really was that dirty or whether she has a germ phobia thinking it is). "We" (aka Olivia) have learned that 3/4 a roll of toilet paper does NOT flush done in one flush. Nor does flushing it another 12 times. No, that simply results in a flooded bathroom floor and a lot of dirty water seeping into the laundry room downstairs.
This was my Friday night...
The next few days saw us saying goodbye to our cousins who visited for the summer and hello to my brother and his wife.
The day my brother and his wife were to arrive (a Friday again) Livy decided it may be a good time to try new tricks on the couch and proceeded to break her arm. She's now sporting a funky purple cast and another life learning lesson. "Arms don't bend that way"
Payton has also kept us on our toes with another cold running through our household (Livy got it first, same day she got her cast) and this cold was enough to develop into croup with Payton.
We did have a day trip to the ER on Saturday but they sent us home with a "lets see how she does, don't let her get any sicker and bring her in if anything else develops or bothers you". Monday she had her 1st year checkup (yes, 5 weeks late: our Doctor is a busy woman) and her check up got turned into a croup visit diagnosis. So we're not sure if over all things are good with her 1st year checkup and the few words Payton is attempting to say is on track, where she lies on her growth chart or whether any other of my concerns are actually concerns (I worry that Payton's hearing is affected again, she doesn't listen. I realize this is a reverse oxymoron...in that no one has ever heard of a 1 year old who doesn't listen). Suffice to say outside of the cold/cough, I'm not overly worried about Payton's development and growth and I'm going to assume that she's just fine.
Just over a week ago (while my brother was visiting) we were fortunate to have a representative/volunteer photographer from the Tiny Lights Foundation visit us for a photo shoot. We're still waiting on the photos but here's a sneak peek at a couple of photos.
She's also gotten better at calling me Mama and pointing at me when she does. It doesn't happen often so I'm still not fully concinced she's got that figured out.
Next week I head out of town for a work trip and I'm thinking it'll be time to fully ween Payton off of breast feeding. Ironically it was the same weekend (3rd in Sept) that I did this with Livy. I'm having a few mixed emotions over it but mostly 'wow, she's old enough to do this??'. I will say that she isn't the funnest baby to breast feed as she's a chomper. No warning, no rhyme or reason and no particular mood will pre-empt her biting. So I won't be sorry about that. Still, I know its something that helps her especially with her 'issues' but my fall with work will be a busy one with a lot of travel and it will be easier on all parties (Payton, those left behind and myself) if we establish a schedule with another form of nutrients. I've never encouraged nursing for comfort (with both girls I instead comforted with words, voice, motion and touch) so hopefully the transistion for those left behind is relatively easy.
With no breastfeeding to counteract various sicknesses, our goal will be to ensure our household will be a well rested, well nurished and active (I'll let you know how badly we fail this in, say, March/April).
I'm starting to prep Livy for Halloween and I'm excited to start seeing all the stuff come out in the stores. She's currently afraid of Halloween as (and I was surprised at this) she remembers being scared. In particular, we went to the West Coast Train Station in Squamish last weekend to ride the mini train and she remember being scared (we took her into the haunted house which was admittedly more appropriate for teenagers). So she's got a good memory and a low fear tolerance. So we're slowly working her from not wanting Halloween to come because she's scared, to trying to make her excited (mini chocolates have thus far been somewhat successful).
So that's our 'end of summer' post. I'm hoping the next month or 2 are less eventful than the last month. Payton will be having a follow up appointment in October with her surgeons and BC Childrens Hospital and I'll be sure to provide an update with that.
It all started the day Livy decided she was going to wipe her bum and flush the toilet herself. Suffice to say, she felt she needed 3/4 a roll of toilet paper to wipe (not sure whether her bum really was that dirty or whether she has a germ phobia thinking it is). "We" (aka Olivia) have learned that 3/4 a roll of toilet paper does NOT flush done in one flush. Nor does flushing it another 12 times. No, that simply results in a flooded bathroom floor and a lot of dirty water seeping into the laundry room downstairs.
This was my Friday night...
The next few days saw us saying goodbye to our cousins who visited for the summer and hello to my brother and his wife.
The day my brother and his wife were to arrive (a Friday again) Livy decided it may be a good time to try new tricks on the couch and proceeded to break her arm. She's now sporting a funky purple cast and another life learning lesson. "Arms don't bend that way"
Payton has also kept us on our toes with another cold running through our household (Livy got it first, same day she got her cast) and this cold was enough to develop into croup with Payton.
We did have a day trip to the ER on Saturday but they sent us home with a "lets see how she does, don't let her get any sicker and bring her in if anything else develops or bothers you". Monday she had her 1st year checkup (yes, 5 weeks late: our Doctor is a busy woman) and her check up got turned into a croup visit diagnosis. So we're not sure if over all things are good with her 1st year checkup and the few words Payton is attempting to say is on track, where she lies on her growth chart or whether any other of my concerns are actually concerns (I worry that Payton's hearing is affected again, she doesn't listen. I realize this is a reverse oxymoron...in that no one has ever heard of a 1 year old who doesn't listen). Suffice to say outside of the cold/cough, I'm not overly worried about Payton's development and growth and I'm going to assume that she's just fine.
Just over a week ago (while my brother was visiting) we were fortunate to have a representative/volunteer photographer from the Tiny Lights Foundation visit us for a photo shoot. We're still waiting on the photos but here's a sneak peek at a couple of photos.
This week Payton's started adding a few words to her vocabulary, my favourite being "sit". Its very cute when I'm telling her to 'sit' and she replies with the same force and inflection.
Her other fav word is "press". Its currently a obsessive thing for her to go around pressing all the light switches (or anything else that looks like it may do something when pressed). Cute the first 3 times, ready to pull my hair out from the last 3,205 times I've stood there waiting for her to press the light on or off. Still, its a form of communication so I'm going with the flow.
She's also gotten better at calling me Mama and pointing at me when she does. It doesn't happen often so I'm still not fully concinced she's got that figured out.
Next week I head out of town for a work trip and I'm thinking it'll be time to fully ween Payton off of breast feeding. Ironically it was the same weekend (3rd in Sept) that I did this with Livy. I'm having a few mixed emotions over it but mostly 'wow, she's old enough to do this??'. I will say that she isn't the funnest baby to breast feed as she's a chomper. No warning, no rhyme or reason and no particular mood will pre-empt her biting. So I won't be sorry about that. Still, I know its something that helps her especially with her 'issues' but my fall with work will be a busy one with a lot of travel and it will be easier on all parties (Payton, those left behind and myself) if we establish a schedule with another form of nutrients. I've never encouraged nursing for comfort (with both girls I instead comforted with words, voice, motion and touch) so hopefully the transistion for those left behind is relatively easy.
With no breastfeeding to counteract various sicknesses, our goal will be to ensure our household will be a well rested, well nurished and active (I'll let you know how badly we fail this in, say, March/April).
I'm starting to prep Livy for Halloween and I'm excited to start seeing all the stuff come out in the stores. She's currently afraid of Halloween as (and I was surprised at this) she remembers being scared. In particular, we went to the West Coast Train Station in Squamish last weekend to ride the mini train and she remember being scared (we took her into the haunted house which was admittedly more appropriate for teenagers). So she's got a good memory and a low fear tolerance. So we're slowly working her from not wanting Halloween to come because she's scared, to trying to make her excited (mini chocolates have thus far been somewhat successful).
So that's our 'end of summer' post. I'm hoping the next month or 2 are less eventful than the last month. Payton will be having a follow up appointment in October with her surgeons and BC Childrens Hospital and I'll be sure to provide an update with that.
Tuesday, August 21, 2012
Fun Stuff
Not much to update other than some fun videos and pictures.
We survived another year of JABR (Dwayne's mountain bike race) and it would appear I've offically been placed in charge of the kiddie bike race (its in our blood) and I'm looking forward to next year when both girls will participate.
Enjoy!
We survived another year of JABR (Dwayne's mountain bike race) and it would appear I've offically been placed in charge of the kiddie bike race (its in our blood) and I'm looking forward to next year when both girls will participate.
Enjoy!
Tuesday, August 14, 2012
Happy 3rd Birthday
Happy Birthday to Olivia today.
Wow, I can't believe its been 3 years since we had her. Everyday has been an amazing experience and I look forward to watching her grow (though I would happily keep her this age forever).
Turning 3 has been hard for me. This is such a 'big girl' age and I'm starting to see my little baby grow up. I keep glimpsing the teenager she's going to be and I hope against hope that much of her personality remains (even the grumpiness...so cute though maybe not on a 15 year old).
We kept the Birthday gifts at a minimum this year and I 'borrowed' an idea from a friend. So far Livy (and Payton) LOVE LOVE it and I'm so glad I took the time to make it. Here it is, occupants and all (thanks Taryn!!!)
Wow, I can't believe its been 3 years since we had her. Everyday has been an amazing experience and I look forward to watching her grow (though I would happily keep her this age forever).
Turning 3 has been hard for me. This is such a 'big girl' age and I'm starting to see my little baby grow up. I keep glimpsing the teenager she's going to be and I hope against hope that much of her personality remains (even the grumpiness...so cute though maybe not on a 15 year old).
We kept the Birthday gifts at a minimum this year and I 'borrowed' an idea from a friend. So far Livy (and Payton) LOVE LOVE it and I'm so glad I took the time to make it. Here it is, occupants and all (thanks Taryn!!!)
Wednesday, August 8, 2012
First Year Video
Its been a few weeks in the making but here it is:
Payton's First Year Video.
http://youtu.be/tiv0ZUbaGE0
Payton's First Year Video.
http://youtu.be/tiv0ZUbaGE0
Saturday, July 28, 2012
Happy Birthday
This post is a bit late in coming primarily because I've been working on a video for Payton's 1st year. I've given up a bit simply because all her photos from the first 5 months have been put on an external hard drive by Dwayne (my lap top was conking out with the data overload) and we can't find the power souce cable for the external hard drive. Uhhhgg.
So, a quick Happy Birthday to my Baby Girl. What an amazing year its been.
In a brief recap as to what is new with Payton, we are so excited to say that she started walking 100% about 4 days earlier. While she had/has been taking a number of steps, many voluntary, many not, as of a few days ago she has simply decided that crawling isn't for her. What a determined and stubbron little girl she is.
And, what makes it so exciting is how incredibly pleased she is with herself. For the first few days she would walk from point A to B and once she arrived at her destination she would laugh, squeel and clap, congratulating herself like we did when she first started.
(In retrospect, as Í'm writing this 10 days later Payton continues to accomplish challenging things like getting on and off the couch and will continue to clap, squeel and congratulate herself on a job well done).
She has a few 'words' (I say this in quotation because while they don't sound like much, they certainly mean a lot to such a little girl).
Of course she knows the "daa" part of "daa peek-a-boo" and loves to play.
She also says:
'dagh' for dog
'baa' for bye
'ge ge' for gentle (though she doesn't act on it)
and the puh sound in up...(this one being my favourite as she sounds like a quite little fish)
We've also established that Payton is going to the holy terror in the family. Livy was a very amicable little baby/toddler (until around 1.5) while Payton is a little scrapper. She's hitting already when you take a toy away, she'll grab and hord toys/objects when she gets them and she has this high wail/screech when things are not going her way. Defense mechnism born from all she has endured?? Maybe. One thing is for sure, she's a fiesty little fighter so watch out world.
So, a quick Happy Birthday to my Baby Girl. What an amazing year its been.
In a brief recap as to what is new with Payton, we are so excited to say that she started walking 100% about 4 days earlier. While she had/has been taking a number of steps, many voluntary, many not, as of a few days ago she has simply decided that crawling isn't for her. What a determined and stubbron little girl she is.
And, what makes it so exciting is how incredibly pleased she is with herself. For the first few days she would walk from point A to B and once she arrived at her destination she would laugh, squeel and clap, congratulating herself like we did when she first started.
(In retrospect, as Í'm writing this 10 days later Payton continues to accomplish challenging things like getting on and off the couch and will continue to clap, squeel and congratulate herself on a job well done).
She has a few 'words' (I say this in quotation because while they don't sound like much, they certainly mean a lot to such a little girl).
Of course she knows the "daa" part of "daa peek-a-boo" and loves to play.
She also says:
'dagh' for dog
'baa' for bye
'ge ge' for gentle (though she doesn't act on it)
and the puh sound in up...(this one being my favourite as she sounds like a quite little fish)
We've also established that Payton is going to the holy terror in the family. Livy was a very amicable little baby/toddler (until around 1.5) while Payton is a little scrapper. She's hitting already when you take a toy away, she'll grab and hord toys/objects when she gets them and she has this high wail/screech when things are not going her way. Defense mechnism born from all she has endured?? Maybe. One thing is for sure, she's a fiesty little fighter so watch out world.
Happy 1st Birthday Payton!
Tuesday, July 24, 2012
Voluntarily Walking
So I won't quite say she's walking 100% of the time but as of yesterday, Payton's voluntarily walking.
She'll stand up in the middle of the room and take a few steps. Both Dwayne and I saw it but like the ellusive Saskwatch, chasing her around the house with the camera only caught our cute little crawler and no signs of our brave and fearless walker.
I did manage to get a prompted walk on video to prove she can at least do it. So the count down is on...1 year minus 4 days we can say she's voluntarily walking (and has the ability to walk) but we can't actually say she IS walking. That will have to wait until her main mode of transportation is bi-pedal.
Go Payton Go!!
She'll stand up in the middle of the room and take a few steps. Both Dwayne and I saw it but like the ellusive Saskwatch, chasing her around the house with the camera only caught our cute little crawler and no signs of our brave and fearless walker.
I did manage to get a prompted walk on video to prove she can at least do it. So the count down is on...1 year minus 4 days we can say she's voluntarily walking (and has the ability to walk) but we can't actually say she IS walking. That will have to wait until her main mode of transportation is bi-pedal.
Go Payton Go!!
Friday, July 13, 2012
Little Trooper
So as usual, when things are a bit bumpy you see us posting more. This week has been a tough one on Payton and while she's not happy, she's fighting through it reminding me of what a little trooper she is.
Yesterday I recieved word that Payton had started with a rash on her torso. Now, like a good mama I did read the paperwork that came with her medications for her antibiotics and knew that a rash was one of the side effects but also recalled that the medication cautioned that a rash could signal an allergic reaction.
So, Payton got trucked off to the doctors again. After a 2 hour wait (at the walk in clinic this time) I was pleased when it was the same doctor we saw in the ER on Monday (the one who had ordered the x-ray) on shift.
She looked at the rash and (with my mother's input of a penicillin allergy in our family) determined it was indeed an allergic reaction. Thus, its been determined that Payton is allergic to penicillin.
Its not such a big deal except for the fact that the rash has now developed on her whole body and even her head/face is covered by the rash. And, she is miserable. The rash is having much more of an impact on her than the high fever ever did.
Coupled with that she's been having a terrible cough when she sleeps. I'm a bit worried that it may be an asthma cough since we're dealing with haze from the Siberian forest fires (even I find I'm coughing and slightly weezing a bit, blaming the poor air quality).
I'm desperately hoping that a day with benadryl helps with the rash and our little warrior is back to even 50% of her old self again by days end.
Yesterday I recieved word that Payton had started with a rash on her torso. Now, like a good mama I did read the paperwork that came with her medications for her antibiotics and knew that a rash was one of the side effects but also recalled that the medication cautioned that a rash could signal an allergic reaction.
So, Payton got trucked off to the doctors again. After a 2 hour wait (at the walk in clinic this time) I was pleased when it was the same doctor we saw in the ER on Monday (the one who had ordered the x-ray) on shift.
She looked at the rash and (with my mother's input of a penicillin allergy in our family) determined it was indeed an allergic reaction. Thus, its been determined that Payton is allergic to penicillin.
Its not such a big deal except for the fact that the rash has now developed on her whole body and even her head/face is covered by the rash. And, she is miserable. The rash is having much more of an impact on her than the high fever ever did.
Coupled with that she's been having a terrible cough when she sleeps. I'm a bit worried that it may be an asthma cough since we're dealing with haze from the Siberian forest fires (even I find I'm coughing and slightly weezing a bit, blaming the poor air quality).
I'm desperately hoping that a day with benadryl helps with the rash and our little warrior is back to even 50% of her old self again by days end.
Wednesday, July 11, 2012
Sick Children
So I've been a bad CDH parent, I'll admit. I fell victim to the same scam Payton pulled on the doctors in the NICU. She lulls you into that false sense of security that she's a tough little cookie that can handle anything thrown at her only to have us realize that "no, she's still quite fragile".
On Friday she started with feeling just a bit off. A few small vomiting episodes and just a bit warm (keeping in mind we're finally getting summer here on the west coast) with a clear runny nose. Saturday saw a small vomit and again a bit warm and the start of more yellow thicker mucus. Still, she had good energy, and was happy.
Through the night I noticed her temperature had risen to a slight fever (38C which is about 100F). The next morning she was cuddly, lots of thick mucus to keep us on our toes but all in all she seemed fine. No coughing, breathing issues. Just what appeared to be a good snotty cold (similar to one I saw on a girl in Fernie last weekend and I was eyeing up to see what she was touching to try to avoid).
By 3 pm on Sunday Payton's temp had reached just over 39C (just over 102F). We stuffed her full of Tylenol and put her to bed.
That night she continued to feel warm but I was out of my sticker thermometers and I knew my ear one wasn't working right. So at 6 am I took her to the ER to get her checked out.
At the ER her temp was 36 and change (normal) and the doc listened to her breathing (all clear), checked her ears (all clear) and her throat (a bit red) and simply told me to keep an eye on her but if her temp went up again to 39 to bring her in for bloodwork.
At 11:30 am her temp was over 39 again. We took more Tylenol and waited to see if it helped. At 2 pm we were back in the ER as Tylenol wasn't working. The new doc checked her ears (one was infected), checked her breathing (a bit raspy) and ordered an x-ray. Sure enough, pneumonia!!!
The little rascal went from "all clear" to pneumonia in both lungs in a matter of 8 hours!!
We also learned that Payton doesn't respond to Tylenol to lower her temp but responds very well to Advil.
Both Monday and Tuesday night were rough for Payton. Her temp peaked Monday night at about 39.7 (~103.5) and then on Tuesday night (Wednesday at 2am to be exact) her temp peaked at 40.2 (104.3F).
She wasn't due for Advil for a few hours so we tried some Tylenol and some cold cloths on her head (all the while keeping the room cool with our AC). 45 minutes later I opted to 'over dose' my child with Advil (about 1.5 hours before she was supposed) but I figured an Advil addict for a child was better than a brain fried one.
The Advil (love this stuff) got her temp down right away and as of now (almost 4 pm, 14 hours later) I'm happy to say that Payton's temp has stayed down. YAY!!!
She had me scared for a few days there wondering how much more she (or I) could take. She was a trooper through it all and other than just wanting to be held, she hardly complained.
On a positive note, after 4 days of virtually only fluids, Payton has learned to sign for milk. Its crazy cute with her little hands squeezing away. She's also developed the squinty cry that Livy used to do.
I want to get a video and put it together with Livy's. Sooo cute. In reality all kids likely do it at some point but I remember it being soooo cute with Livy and find it funny that Payton does it as well.
So, that's been our weekend and beginning of the week thus far.
A good reminder for me that kids are hardy but can be so fragile and CDH babies especially. While they can surprise us, they also need constant diligence and I almost missed it thinking she was so much stronger than she was.
On Friday she started with feeling just a bit off. A few small vomiting episodes and just a bit warm (keeping in mind we're finally getting summer here on the west coast) with a clear runny nose. Saturday saw a small vomit and again a bit warm and the start of more yellow thicker mucus. Still, she had good energy, and was happy.
Through the night I noticed her temperature had risen to a slight fever (38C which is about 100F). The next morning she was cuddly, lots of thick mucus to keep us on our toes but all in all she seemed fine. No coughing, breathing issues. Just what appeared to be a good snotty cold (similar to one I saw on a girl in Fernie last weekend and I was eyeing up to see what she was touching to try to avoid).
By 3 pm on Sunday Payton's temp had reached just over 39C (just over 102F). We stuffed her full of Tylenol and put her to bed.
That night she continued to feel warm but I was out of my sticker thermometers and I knew my ear one wasn't working right. So at 6 am I took her to the ER to get her checked out.
At the ER her temp was 36 and change (normal) and the doc listened to her breathing (all clear), checked her ears (all clear) and her throat (a bit red) and simply told me to keep an eye on her but if her temp went up again to 39 to bring her in for bloodwork.
At 11:30 am her temp was over 39 again. We took more Tylenol and waited to see if it helped. At 2 pm we were back in the ER as Tylenol wasn't working. The new doc checked her ears (one was infected), checked her breathing (a bit raspy) and ordered an x-ray. Sure enough, pneumonia!!!
The little rascal went from "all clear" to pneumonia in both lungs in a matter of 8 hours!!
We also learned that Payton doesn't respond to Tylenol to lower her temp but responds very well to Advil.
Both Monday and Tuesday night were rough for Payton. Her temp peaked Monday night at about 39.7 (~103.5) and then on Tuesday night (Wednesday at 2am to be exact) her temp peaked at 40.2 (104.3F).
She wasn't due for Advil for a few hours so we tried some Tylenol and some cold cloths on her head (all the while keeping the room cool with our AC). 45 minutes later I opted to 'over dose' my child with Advil (about 1.5 hours before she was supposed) but I figured an Advil addict for a child was better than a brain fried one.
The Advil (love this stuff) got her temp down right away and as of now (almost 4 pm, 14 hours later) I'm happy to say that Payton's temp has stayed down. YAY!!!
She had me scared for a few days there wondering how much more she (or I) could take. She was a trooper through it all and other than just wanting to be held, she hardly complained.
On a positive note, after 4 days of virtually only fluids, Payton has learned to sign for milk. Its crazy cute with her little hands squeezing away. She's also developed the squinty cry that Livy used to do.
I want to get a video and put it together with Livy's. Sooo cute. In reality all kids likely do it at some point but I remember it being soooo cute with Livy and find it funny that Payton does it as well.
So, that's been our weekend and beginning of the week thus far.
A good reminder for me that kids are hardy but can be so fragile and CDH babies especially. While they can surprise us, they also need constant diligence and I almost missed it thinking she was so much stronger than she was.
Thursday, July 5, 2012
Ode to the Long Weekend
What a whirlwind of a weekend we just had. Happy to be back at work this week for the
simply purpose of ‘resting’.
The weekend consisted of a 10 hour long drive out to Fernie,
BC for Dwayne to take part in a 3-day stage mountain bike race. Olivia, Payton and I tagged along to make it
a family event and an actual summer vacation.
On one hand, traveling 10 hours in one direction isn’t my
idea of a great start to a family get away BUT we did get some sun while there
and that was a decent trade off (if we had stayed home it would have just been
rain).
First off, Dwayne’s race wasn’t all he expected it to be.
Years ago we had done some mountain biking in Fernie and had fun. At the time it was nice to try different
style of trails (different terrain and different trail builders) but we were
very grateful to return home to ride our back yard after a couple of days.
8 years later Dwayne had high hopes for the growth of the mountain biking in
Fernie but unfortunately was somewhat disheartened to learn that 3 days in a
row he would have to ride some of the same single track (much different than
his expectation of a new experience 3 days in a row). So suffice to say he wasn’t overly disappointed
when his chain broke during the 3-day of the race.
On another note, Dwayne ended up in the hospital after day 2
because he was having such a bad time with his chronic hacking cough. A few test later and it was determined his
oxygen levels were low and he was an asthmatic.
Alas, perhaps Fernie was a good thing in that we can maybe say goodbye
to Dwayne’s middle of the night coughing that is loud enough to wake the whole
house.
On the Payton front, big advancement for such a little
girls. On Thursday, June 28th
(exactly 11 calendar months) she started voluntarily taking her 1st
steps. After a week of it she’s still a
bit shaky but she’ll tak a step now, balance herself and take another one. Today she's even progressed to standing and taking a few steps with no one in front of her encouraging her. I think her record is about 5 steps before
she reaches her target. Still a ways off
from full time walking but forward progress none the less. The other thing I love about it is she's ultra cautious. She always has an exit strategy (she makes sure she's balanced so that when she falls its on her butt). Not that she's cautious with everything. She's keen to climb on anything she can and today took a nasty spill off her quad bikeand ended up with an egg sized lump on her forhead (not sure where her helmet was...).
Payton is also now a kisser (sort of). She’s always been quick to share a kiss but
hasn’t yet mastered the closed mouth kiss (instead she zooms in with a wide
open mouth). We’ve taught her to say
“mmm-mah” when you say “kiss” to her.
Unfortunately she follows the mmm-mah with an open mouth kiss.
This morning was the 1st time she’s waved
‘bye-bye’. This little trick has been a
long time in coming and I can only guess its because she doesn’t want to say goodbye. Still, its in every baby’s repertoire to wave
bye bye so now we’ve joined the masses in that department.
We now have a mixed bag of tricks to share at parties
including: the standing balance act, the High-Five, the Clap your Hands, Arms
Up trick, turning on and off a light switch, taking a few wabbly shaky steps
and now waving Bye Bye.
As for Olivia, I think its safe to assume she’ll be a thrill
seeker. On the drive back from Fernie on
Monday we stopped in Osoyoos to give the girls a break. We initially were planning on swimming in the
lake but we drove by a small theme park (bumper cars, rides etc). Dwayne had a great idea to stop there
instead. We loaded up on some ride
tickets, 1st stop the tea cup ride.
Dwayne and Livy survived the tea-cup (or the parks version of it) only
to notice the bungee tree (a harness, ropes and a trampoline). This was by far Livy’s favourite and she
LOVED flying through the air. She kept
asking the ride operator to go higher. I
finally had to tell him she was going high enough.
We have video so I’ll post when I get a chance.
If it wasn’t the puking episode at hour 2 on the ride back
(several hours before we arrived at the park) I would say Livy had an iron
stomach like her mom. Mmmm, must reassess that one.Tuesday, June 26, 2012
1st Step
Ok, I can't legitimately call it a 1st step because I think it was by accident but yesterday Payton did actually take her first step while not holding on to anything (at least the 1st step I noticed).
For what its worth she is standing like a champ. She's also climbing like a champ, onto chairs (dangerous ones too) and any chance she gets up stairs. It would seem though that walking just isn't her forte. She is just not interested yet. She crawls at incredibly speeds getting to where she needs/wants to go and like a shot is up and standing and getting into what she's not supposed to...so why ruin it with walking right??
I'm sure she knows also that Livy is a force to be reckoned with and its much safer keeping her centre of gravity closer to the ground. :)
She's babbling and is a hoot to listen to. I believe, much like Livy, her 1st official word (not found in the dictionary) was "daaa" as in Daaa, Peek-a-boo. Now she is saying a shortened version of "down" and will point to a light when asked "where's the light?". She'll also (intermittently) clap on command, put her hands up in the air and generally, without fail, she'll High-Five.
Olivia too is a constant source of entertainment. Dwayne and my commute in the morning if often full of reminescing of what words, phrases and actions Livy has done. Like last night, running down the hall Dwayne telling her to put on pants. Her reply "no, that's ok. I don't need any pants right now. I'm ok".
Or going through Dwayne's wallet and pulling out his various ID and exclaiming "Ohh Daddy, you look sooooo embarassed here" and the next one she pulls out "Ohh Daddy, you look so happy here". We say we'll never forget these moments of pure joy but I know we will and it makes me sad while at the same time makes me forever grateful I got to be part of it.
Here's a few photos of us from the last few weeks.
For what its worth she is standing like a champ. She's also climbing like a champ, onto chairs (dangerous ones too) and any chance she gets up stairs. It would seem though that walking just isn't her forte. She is just not interested yet. She crawls at incredibly speeds getting to where she needs/wants to go and like a shot is up and standing and getting into what she's not supposed to...so why ruin it with walking right??
I'm sure she knows also that Livy is a force to be reckoned with and its much safer keeping her centre of gravity closer to the ground. :)
She's babbling and is a hoot to listen to. I believe, much like Livy, her 1st official word (not found in the dictionary) was "daaa" as in Daaa, Peek-a-boo. Now she is saying a shortened version of "down" and will point to a light when asked "where's the light?". She'll also (intermittently) clap on command, put her hands up in the air and generally, without fail, she'll High-Five.
Olivia too is a constant source of entertainment. Dwayne and my commute in the morning if often full of reminescing of what words, phrases and actions Livy has done. Like last night, running down the hall Dwayne telling her to put on pants. Her reply "no, that's ok. I don't need any pants right now. I'm ok".
Or going through Dwayne's wallet and pulling out his various ID and exclaiming "Ohh Daddy, you look sooooo embarassed here" and the next one she pulls out "Ohh Daddy, you look so happy here". We say we'll never forget these moments of pure joy but I know we will and it makes me sad while at the same time makes me forever grateful I got to be part of it.
Here's a few photos of us from the last few weeks.
My girls!!
There's trouble brewing in those eyes...
Cindy Crawford, eat your heart out!!
Payton loving the avocado and Mommy loving the teeth.
Matching outfits (sort of)
The very important pre-ride trip to the coffee shop coupled with
deep thoughts of what today's ride will bring.
Pure joy...puddle jumping!!
...And puddle running.
Monday, May 28, 2012
Good bye May 2012
Life moves too fast sometimes. It’s becoming a common theme as we move
forward and that knowledge is sometimes enough to bring tears to my eyes.
Payton is 10 months old today and it’s a reminder that there are so many moments that are incredibly precious and no matter how hard we try, we can’t hold on to them forever. You do what you can to cherish them but there is nothing that you can do to keep them. I vaguely remember what it felt like holding Livy close and smelling her head when she was an infant sleeping. When she would cuddle into my arms and give in to that trust and warmth. Payton does it and that is what allows me to remember those special moments with Olivia…but I know that my time with Payton is limited too. She’s growing up and doing it fast.
Writing this I can feel the tears swell as I imagine my girls being young adults and it seems like its just around the corner. Then I have to remind myself that they are still young, one 2 and the other less than a year…still, a part of me recognizes the lack of control we have with life and the fact that this beautiful time in our lives won’t last forever. It may stay beautiful, but it will be a different kind of beauty and I already somewhat mourn the loss of what we have now.
On Saturday I officially deemed Payton to be standing. She’s not great at it (as is expected when someone is learning something so significant for the 1st time) but she’s working hard and knows she’s making progress. I believe her maximum time doing it is about 10 seconds. The clincher though isn’t the length of time she’s standing but that she’s pulling herself up and instantly letting go to stand.
She does it more on the grass (or in our bed in the mornings) fully aware that the landing is softer than on the hardwood floors (smart little girl) and because its softer, she’s fearless on the grass.
She’s also finally figured out the walking part, that putting one foot in front of the other results in forward motion. She’s pretty wabbly (and only does it when we’re holding on to her hand) but I remember Livy at this stage thinking it was going to be a while before she was able to walk on her own but then to my surprise she figured it out quick. A matter of a few weeks.
We continue to feel incredibly lucky that Payton is developing without any delays. I was so prepared for challenges when we learned about her defect and it never escapes me knowing how fortunate we are that she’s as close to normal as she can be considering she sports several scars on her body including one that covers more than half her abdomen (please know that I use the word ‘normal’ as a comparison to a non CDH baby and not meant to describe Payton or any other CDH baby as abnormal, though technically a hole in the diaphragm is abnormal in the true sense of the definition. Still, anyone with sensitivities to the use of the word normal vs not normal isn’t meant to be negative, rather descriptive for simplicity sake).
ie:
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Payton is 10 months old today and it’s a reminder that there are so many moments that are incredibly precious and no matter how hard we try, we can’t hold on to them forever. You do what you can to cherish them but there is nothing that you can do to keep them. I vaguely remember what it felt like holding Livy close and smelling her head when she was an infant sleeping. When she would cuddle into my arms and give in to that trust and warmth. Payton does it and that is what allows me to remember those special moments with Olivia…but I know that my time with Payton is limited too. She’s growing up and doing it fast.
Writing this I can feel the tears swell as I imagine my girls being young adults and it seems like its just around the corner. Then I have to remind myself that they are still young, one 2 and the other less than a year…still, a part of me recognizes the lack of control we have with life and the fact that this beautiful time in our lives won’t last forever. It may stay beautiful, but it will be a different kind of beauty and I already somewhat mourn the loss of what we have now.
On Saturday I officially deemed Payton to be standing. She’s not great at it (as is expected when someone is learning something so significant for the 1st time) but she’s working hard and knows she’s making progress. I believe her maximum time doing it is about 10 seconds. The clincher though isn’t the length of time she’s standing but that she’s pulling herself up and instantly letting go to stand.
She does it more on the grass (or in our bed in the mornings) fully aware that the landing is softer than on the hardwood floors (smart little girl) and because its softer, she’s fearless on the grass.
She’s also finally figured out the walking part, that putting one foot in front of the other results in forward motion. She’s pretty wabbly (and only does it when we’re holding on to her hand) but I remember Livy at this stage thinking it was going to be a while before she was able to walk on her own but then to my surprise she figured it out quick. A matter of a few weeks.
We continue to feel incredibly lucky that Payton is developing without any delays. I was so prepared for challenges when we learned about her defect and it never escapes me knowing how fortunate we are that she’s as close to normal as she can be considering she sports several scars on her body including one that covers more than half her abdomen (please know that I use the word ‘normal’ as a comparison to a non CDH baby and not meant to describe Payton or any other CDH baby as abnormal, though technically a hole in the diaphragm is abnormal in the true sense of the definition. Still, anyone with sensitivities to the use of the word normal vs not normal isn’t meant to be negative, rather descriptive for simplicity sake).
ie:
Normal: (noun) typical state or condition.
Abnormal: (noun) Deviating from what is normal or usual, typically in a way that is undesirable. (and I’m assuming if given the chance no parent would choose CDH for their child so I think its safe to say CDH is an undesirable condition).
I remember wondering about Payton’s future and reading about
other parents who described their CDH babies as “just like any baby” but
seemingly always with a disclaimer of “slightly delayed” or “adapts so well
she/he is just like a non-CDH baby”. I always wondered whether it was simply
their “new normal” or whether indeed life with a CDH survivor did it eventually
sort itself out (for the majority of CDH survivours) to be exactly like everyone else or where there always something somewhere (outside of the scars) that indicated such a tough start for these little ones. Abnormal: (noun) Deviating from what is normal or usual, typically in a way that is undesirable. (and I’m assuming if given the chance no parent would choose CDH for their child so I think its safe to say CDH is an undesirable condition).
For anyone who’s expecting a CDH baby and wonders if there
is potential for their child to develop at a level that is normally expected
for children not born with a life threatening defect, there is. The only thing that I can see different about
Payton from Olivia is her scar and while I know that not every CDH baby is as fortunate
to be doing so well so early in their life, sometimes life throws us that ‘good’
curve and we get to go through the normal motions with an awareness that
normalcy is pretty darn incredible.
Livy continues to be a treasure and her brilliant little
mind continues to make my heart hurt (in the way only too much love and pride can
do).
Yesterday Olivia was helping me in the yard (we’re pouring
more concrete and building a fence on our front yard and I’ve been building the
concrete forms) and she would follow behind me picking up (or spilling) drill
bits, screws or the tape measure. Her
little plastic red car got in on the action and by the end of the day her car
was the mode of transport for the random drill bit (that she confiscated from
the box) and the tape measure. I LOVE
seeing how her little mind thinks things through.
On another note, we’ve regressed with the potty
training. After weeks of no issues she’s
been having ‘accidents’ though I don’t think we should call them accidents
since she’s doing it on purpose. I believe
its an attention attempt since we usually make such a big deal out of her peeing
herself (and the fact that she’s more and more wanting “up” or cuddles). So now, peeing one’s self is low attention,
peeing in the toilet is a big deal. We’ll be introducing a reward system soon
so that she can see that she gets special treatment when she does it right. I think this all started around my last work
trip in mid May so its very possible that my working so much, traveling is
impacting her. It also may simply be a
stage, especially with a younger sibling.
In closing I’ll include a few photos of the girls.
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Sunday, May 13, 2012
A walk down memory lane
Next week Dwayne and I are planning on attending a BBQ being held by the fertility clinic that aided us in creating Payton (or perhaps we should say that we aided them?.?.).
Its definitely a walk down memory lane since its been about a year now that I stopped spending much time dwelling on issues of infertility.
I may have gotten to this point naturally but my pregnancy complications and Payton's rough start definitely solidified the fact that our family is complete (or as complete as it will be using artificial means since I would happily welcome one of those 'ops' pregnancies if it were possible...but I digress).
Last week when I recieved the invite to the BBQ it brought with it a slew of emotions about a part of my life that I had closed the doors on. Most importantly, it brought with it a refreshing moment of knowing that life for us was PERFECT. That the memories the clinic and what it represents were no longer coated in aprehension and a thin layer of fear & loathing; just a calm I didn't know actually existed (up until that moment I thought there was a good possiblity that my feeling of completeness was artificial and masked by the chaos that is now our lives with 2 full time working and highly active parents).
On some level, attending this BBQ I feel like a fraud because infertility no longer rules my emotions, my finances and my schedule for the next 3, 6 or 12 months. It was actaully for this reason that I felt that I wanted to attend. Because attendance likely wouldn't bring with it any negative emotions.
Next week I'll get to see some familar faces (faces of other mothers) and meet some new ones (chubby faces that bare a striking resemblance to some familar faces). It will be a bittersweet combination I'm sure of those of us who have fully crossed over mingling with those who have one foot over, the other foot still lingering in the hopes of being the one to choose when their family building is complete rather than some other force doing so, and finally a mixture of those still eagerly (or not so eagerly if they've been at it a while) waiting.
I'm intrigued by this opportunity to re-visit my past, but only because I now know what our end game looks like. Call me a coward (because that's exactly what I am and the exact reason that I wasn't able to attend this last year) but I am a content coward and for now, that's good enough for now.
I can always hope that by next year I'll progress even more.
Its definitely a walk down memory lane since its been about a year now that I stopped spending much time dwelling on issues of infertility.
I may have gotten to this point naturally but my pregnancy complications and Payton's rough start definitely solidified the fact that our family is complete (or as complete as it will be using artificial means since I would happily welcome one of those 'ops' pregnancies if it were possible...but I digress).
Last week when I recieved the invite to the BBQ it brought with it a slew of emotions about a part of my life that I had closed the doors on. Most importantly, it brought with it a refreshing moment of knowing that life for us was PERFECT. That the memories the clinic and what it represents were no longer coated in aprehension and a thin layer of fear & loathing; just a calm I didn't know actually existed (up until that moment I thought there was a good possiblity that my feeling of completeness was artificial and masked by the chaos that is now our lives with 2 full time working and highly active parents).
On some level, attending this BBQ I feel like a fraud because infertility no longer rules my emotions, my finances and my schedule for the next 3, 6 or 12 months. It was actaully for this reason that I felt that I wanted to attend. Because attendance likely wouldn't bring with it any negative emotions.
Next week I'll get to see some familar faces (faces of other mothers) and meet some new ones (chubby faces that bare a striking resemblance to some familar faces). It will be a bittersweet combination I'm sure of those of us who have fully crossed over mingling with those who have one foot over, the other foot still lingering in the hopes of being the one to choose when their family building is complete rather than some other force doing so, and finally a mixture of those still eagerly (or not so eagerly if they've been at it a while) waiting.
I'm intrigued by this opportunity to re-visit my past, but only because I now know what our end game looks like. Call me a coward (because that's exactly what I am and the exact reason that I wasn't able to attend this last year) but I am a content coward and for now, that's good enough for now.
I can always hope that by next year I'll progress even more.
Friday, May 11, 2012
To Clarify...(ha, yes, you guessed it, rant continued but explained)
I think its important that I mention my ‘rant’ from the
other day is not directed at any one person’s thoughts, comments or
actions. It was triggered by something I
read that stayed with me long enough to bother me and make me realize that its
an important enough issue to blog about.
I felt compelled to express my voice on this topic because by being
silent, it had the potential to continue causing hurt to those in the trenches
who were struggling and didn’t have the strength to voice their pain.
I remember that pain and I remember being silent then
because I didn’t want to be the ‘bitter, grieving mother who couldn’t
sympathize with others who were maybe struggling’. But now I’m in a better place and I feel that
now I’m strong enough to carry the bad rap that my thoughts may bring. I’ll happily be called ‘bitter’ if it saves
one hurting woman the burden of having to hear how hard someone else has it
because they have to feel bad about being on the right side of life's statistics.
My thoughts are not directed at ONE person. The blog post was simply the result of
reading one comment too many (even though that comment was NOT intended to be
malicious and was delivered by someone who had an incredible capacity to reach
out to others and is doing what they can to help minimize other's pain). My post was to
educate. Much like that list that is available:
What to say/do and not say/not do to someone who has lost a child. For many people they just don’t understand why or
when their words have the potential to hurt.
These thoughts of Survivors Guilt (even though they are NOT intended) have the potential to hurt. I know because I’ve heard these types of thoughts for YEARS. Years of hearing how hard it is for others who have ‘won’ in the game of life's statistics because they have a hard time enjoying their good fortune because others ‘ruin’ it for them (in not so many words but I hope you get my point).
I had one friend tell me how bad she felt because she had an abortion earlier in life and now years later she had a baby who was alive and healthy while mine were dead (SERIOUSLY?). I’ve heard through 3rd parties how hard it is for other mom’s to be around me (in earlier years) because they felt guilty. I’ve been on grief support boards where women of healthy children have commented on how hard it is to see others suffer and they feel so guilty (I’m not sure what they were looking to gain on this one when they come to a support group of grieving women).
These thoughts of Survivors Guilt (even though they are NOT intended) have the potential to hurt. I know because I’ve heard these types of thoughts for YEARS. Years of hearing how hard it is for others who have ‘won’ in the game of life's statistics because they have a hard time enjoying their good fortune because others ‘ruin’ it for them (in not so many words but I hope you get my point).
I had one friend tell me how bad she felt because she had an abortion earlier in life and now years later she had a baby who was alive and healthy while mine were dead (SERIOUSLY?). I’ve heard through 3rd parties how hard it is for other mom’s to be around me (in earlier years) because they felt guilty. I’ve been on grief support boards where women of healthy children have commented on how hard it is to see others suffer and they feel so guilty (I’m not sure what they were looking to gain on this one when they come to a support group of grieving women).
A week ago I was with friends in an area where there were a
number of very disadvantaged, likely homeless people (of varying degrees). One of my friends mentioned that she had a
hard time being there and needed to leave, that was too hard on her to see
people struggling so much. I’m sure in
her mind she perceived herself to be someone who has a big heart. To others who are also fortunate I’m sure the
exact same thoughts were shared “She’s sensitive to their plight so it’s hard
for her”. I believe that the world is
full of really crappy things and avoiding it (especially if it makes you feel
bad) only does those who are faced with the crap a huge injustice. How do we know the depth of pain if we avoid facing it because it makes us uncomfortable. Too often we avoid acknowledging them and
sweep them to the back because they make us feel uncomfortable”. When someone’s disadvantage makes you feel
uncomfortable, don’t avoid and please, don't turn it around and make it about you.
Another example of this was when I was pregnant with Payton
and we learned of her defect and started better understanding the risks
associated with the pregnancy complications.
I left an online pregnancy support board because I made other pregnant
women uncomfortable. In a time I needed
support the most was when those who had it "all" deserted me because my journey
was too hard for them. I’d rather be faced with Survivors Guilt then that
feeling of being shunned. I can still remember bawling my eyes out because my
shitty world didn’t just end with my problems but now I was making others feel
bad and was being rejected for something
beyond my control. You want “Ouch”, walk a mile in those shoes.
If you feel Survivors Guilt, that’s normal. We all do on some level, at some time whether it’s walking down the street and seeing a homeless person, talking to a friend faced with a terminal disease, or a friend who has faced the unimaginable: the loss of a child. Just don't take someone elses misfortune and turn it around and make it about yourself. Ask for support and sympathy for problems you ARE dealing with...not support and sympathy for problems based on others misfortune.
If you feel Survivors Guilt, that’s normal. We all do on some level, at some time whether it’s walking down the street and seeing a homeless person, talking to a friend faced with a terminal disease, or a friend who has faced the unimaginable: the loss of a child. Just don't take someone elses misfortune and turn it around and make it about yourself. Ask for support and sympathy for problems you ARE dealing with...not support and sympathy for problems based on others misfortune.
So, my words of advice, my thoughts, my point of view (aka
my blog) for those reading who do want be sensitive to those less
fortunate. Be a friend, be supportive and
keep it about those less fortunate and then celebrate your blessings because you
just never know when your fortune may change and those moments of bliss may
have been wasted. Do what you can to embrace
the joy and never forget how wonderful that joy is.
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
"Survivors Guilt" (a little rant)
I read something today that I felt strongly enough about that I needed to blog about it. A part of the reason I want to blog is to be a voice (admittedly I'm being a voice in a passive aggressive manner because I didn't address the comments directly, instead I'm addressing them on my own blog).
I'm indirectly responding to a mother's post regarding survivors guilt. A mother of a surviving CDH baby and when reading it it struck a cord.
Survivor's guilt. I know its real and to escape the feeling fully is impossible, but blogging about it and publically posting it is crap and it is selfish. Plain and simple. Its publically taking someone elses horror and bringing the focus and sympathy back to the person who hasn't lived the horror. If you think being a survivor makes you feel like crap, how do you think the loved ones feel about actually living it? Pretty darn bad so suck it up cupcake and stop making someone elses pain "all about you" for public sympathy.
Ok, the rant part over. Here comes the Devil's advocate to the survivors guilt.
Life is unfair (unless you are one to believe that God has choosen a path of pain for you and you find comfort that he's testing you more than the next person...which I don't fully understand the reasoning behind but I believe I posted my thoughts on the concept that "God chooses to bless some, crap on others and all the while we still individually believe he's chosen us to be the lucky one" theory. Thats a different blog post...
Where was I? Oh yes, life is unfair. Those of us who have lived the crappy stuff, we know life is unfair. We know it sucks. If you happen to be a survivor of the same ailment that caused our own crappy times I have news for you...we don't blame you AND, most importantly you don't remind us of what we lost, that part is hard to forget and your presence isn't what may cause us to cry...its the fact that we lived a really crappy situation and THAT'S making us cry.
As a person who's lived through a crappy situation (or two) I can tell you that the only thing that annoys me more than the mother who says "maybe you just weren't meant to be a parent (which is why x,y,z all happend)" is the person who says "oh, I'm so sorry if my good fortune makes your bad fortune so much worse, but if you feel bad, imagine how bad I feel knowing I make you feel bad". Seriously??? How did my grief, pain and problems become all about YOU!!! (oh, wait, I said my rant was over didn't I??).
Here's the skinny. If you are a mother and your child survived while another mother's baby didn't, the best comfort you offer is a genuine "I'm sorry for your loss". Then hold your children tight and love them with every ounce of your being and never forget how precious life is.
As mentioned previously, I know survivor guilt is real. I know that no matter how much you try, you are going to feel how you are going to feel. The only thing I can say it please, don't make someone elses pain all about you and don't do it publically with the potential goal of gaining sympathy (especially in a forum where those less fortunate than you may read about it).
As always, these thoughts are mine. You don't have to agree but hey, it is my blog...
I'm indirectly responding to a mother's post regarding survivors guilt. A mother of a surviving CDH baby and when reading it it struck a cord.
Survivor's guilt. I know its real and to escape the feeling fully is impossible, but blogging about it and publically posting it is crap and it is selfish. Plain and simple. Its publically taking someone elses horror and bringing the focus and sympathy back to the person who hasn't lived the horror. If you think being a survivor makes you feel like crap, how do you think the loved ones feel about actually living it? Pretty darn bad so suck it up cupcake and stop making someone elses pain "all about you" for public sympathy.
Ok, the rant part over. Here comes the Devil's advocate to the survivors guilt.
Life is unfair (unless you are one to believe that God has choosen a path of pain for you and you find comfort that he's testing you more than the next person...which I don't fully understand the reasoning behind but I believe I posted my thoughts on the concept that "God chooses to bless some, crap on others and all the while we still individually believe he's chosen us to be the lucky one" theory. Thats a different blog post...
Where was I? Oh yes, life is unfair. Those of us who have lived the crappy stuff, we know life is unfair. We know it sucks. If you happen to be a survivor of the same ailment that caused our own crappy times I have news for you...we don't blame you AND, most importantly you don't remind us of what we lost, that part is hard to forget and your presence isn't what may cause us to cry...its the fact that we lived a really crappy situation and THAT'S making us cry.
As a person who's lived through a crappy situation (or two) I can tell you that the only thing that annoys me more than the mother who says "maybe you just weren't meant to be a parent (which is why x,y,z all happend)" is the person who says "oh, I'm so sorry if my good fortune makes your bad fortune so much worse, but if you feel bad, imagine how bad I feel knowing I make you feel bad". Seriously??? How did my grief, pain and problems become all about YOU!!! (oh, wait, I said my rant was over didn't I??).
Here's the skinny. If you are a mother and your child survived while another mother's baby didn't, the best comfort you offer is a genuine "I'm sorry for your loss". Then hold your children tight and love them with every ounce of your being and never forget how precious life is.
As mentioned previously, I know survivor guilt is real. I know that no matter how much you try, you are going to feel how you are going to feel. The only thing I can say it please, don't make someone elses pain all about you and don't do it publically with the potential goal of gaining sympathy (especially in a forum where those less fortunate than you may read about it).
As always, these thoughts are mine. You don't have to agree but hey, it is my blog...
Sunday, May 6, 2012
A Full Day
Today has been a full day and tons of fun.
It was a good day of sunshine and getting outside and taking it all in.
The biggest 1st today was that Livy got her 1st haircut!!! Yes, she's almost 2 years and 10 months old and we finally cut some of her hair, just a little trim along the bangs but enough to tie a little ribbon around and put in a little bag for a keepsake.
She's growing incredibly fast and tomorrow we'll mark the girls heights on the wall to see how much they've grown in the last 6 months.
Payton continues to do so well and she's now a pro at pulling herself up into the standing position. She's been playing with her little dragon walker and is also learning that a few steps means foward mortion.
Today while we were out on the lawn Payton started making progress with her standing and balance. She stood for a good 5-6 seconds working hard to keep her balance. Its progress that she works to keep her balance which is a good sign that she knows what she needs to do to move forward.
It was a good day of sunshine and getting outside and taking it all in.
The biggest 1st today was that Livy got her 1st haircut!!! Yes, she's almost 2 years and 10 months old and we finally cut some of her hair, just a little trim along the bangs but enough to tie a little ribbon around and put in a little bag for a keepsake.
She's growing incredibly fast and tomorrow we'll mark the girls heights on the wall to see how much they've grown in the last 6 months.
Payton continues to do so well and she's now a pro at pulling herself up into the standing position. She's been playing with her little dragon walker and is also learning that a few steps means foward mortion.
Today while we were out on the lawn Payton started making progress with her standing and balance. She stood for a good 5-6 seconds working hard to keep her balance. Its progress that she works to keep her balance which is a good sign that she knows what she needs to do to move forward.
Wednesday, April 18, 2012
Happy Birthday to me
Today was a wonderful birthday (well, as wonderful as it can be when your nearing 40).
We had family all come over and celebrate it with us and we had some moments today that made it extra special.
One being that Payton is pulling herself up to a standing position (1st time in the bathtub today). Personally I don't think she's ready to do this. I think she's far less stable than Livy was but maybe that's because my water mark for stability is a 2.75 year old (unlike Livy where I didn't have anything to compare with).
On another note, Payton's 3rd tooth just broke through (one on top) and by all indications there's 3 more right behind. In the next 2 weeks this baby is going to go from big gummy grin to a big toothy one.
To wrap it all up the Canucks won their 1st playoff game keeping themselves from being eliminated in the 1st round. While I can't say that I'm overly enjoying the hockey season, at least one game won beats a clean sweep elimination.
All in the last year was good but with a few rocky moments. We made it though and it has set us up for this next year being pretty stellar.
Here's a few photos since its been so long. Here's a shot of the Toddler's version of Man Land being too much for Livy. This was her 1st evening watching Aladin on her new set up.
We had family all come over and celebrate it with us and we had some moments today that made it extra special.
One being that Payton is pulling herself up to a standing position (1st time in the bathtub today). Personally I don't think she's ready to do this. I think she's far less stable than Livy was but maybe that's because my water mark for stability is a 2.75 year old (unlike Livy where I didn't have anything to compare with).
On another note, Payton's 3rd tooth just broke through (one on top) and by all indications there's 3 more right behind. In the next 2 weeks this baby is going to go from big gummy grin to a big toothy one.
To wrap it all up the Canucks won their 1st playoff game keeping themselves from being eliminated in the 1st round. While I can't say that I'm overly enjoying the hockey season, at least one game won beats a clean sweep elimination.
All in the last year was good but with a few rocky moments. We made it though and it has set us up for this next year being pretty stellar.
Here's a few photos since its been so long. Here's a shot of the Toddler's version of Man Land being too much for Livy. This was her 1st evening watching Aladin on her new set up.
Best Friends (for now). Notice Livy's hair is FINALLY growing. I fear we have the same x many years ahead with Payton as well. Now the dilemna is whether to cut Livy's into something that's short but neat or let it continue grow albiet unevenly).
Sunday, April 15, 2012
April Update
We're doing well.
April's been another busy month with the days getting longer and all of us starting to dip our toe into Spring and testing the waters as to whether we can jump in yet with both feet. Weather on the coast teaches us to be patient but take advantage of it when we can.
So Wilma's been out with the girls on the grass having picnics and Dwayne and I have started tackeling biking to Vancouver (or from Vancouver to Squamish) during days where the sun is shining and our shedules allow for it.
On another note, on April 11th Payton had her follow up appointment at BCCH which included a visit to the Occupational Therapist, the NeoNatal followup and Audiology.
It was a good appointment and it was determined that Payton is right on track (in some cases ahead)with the expected development of a baby who didn't have the challenges she faced.
We also learned that Payton's fluid in her ears has cleared and while we weren't able to test her ears individually, she passed the hearing test just fine so for all indication, it seems her hearing was due to the fluid.
Recently Payton's been progressing through her crawling stage like wild-fire. I think its one of my most favourite ages since things move so incredibly quickly. She's just learning to mimic (and will sort of wave or clap back) and her crawling yesterday took a turn for 'the better'. She'll now scoot on her bum for short distances to keep from committing to dropping on her tummy.
That will be short lived as yesterday, I also picked her up from her crib after a nap and she was sitting up. Dwayne noticed she was doing the same last night and again I saw her doing it. She's now going from lying belly down into a sitting position. For those who aren't aware, this is the start of her pulling herself up. Where before she didn't have many options to pull herself up now she can crawl (scoot) to an object and get into a sitting position to pull herself up.
Livy has been as entertaining as always and we're learning quickly that a 2.75 year old can be very stubbron and clever. She's already getting a 'no' from one parent and going to the next one asking the same question (or to Wilma if she's in the vicinity).
We're also one step closer to finishing "Man's Land" for toddlers and we have the small TV mounted in the play room so the girls can watch movies there and we can have less Muppets and Princesses' on our main TV.
We also bought Livy a peddle bike last week. We took her out riding and thus far she needs a lot of work but we're trying. I think physically she is able to do it but mentally its a challenge (a lot for a 2-year old brain to process) especially since Dwayne took off the training wheels before she even got on it, so she doesn't even have the practice of turning the pedals before we cut her loose.
All in all our little family is doing well and we're so incredibly excited for summer (well I am anyway)!!!
April's been another busy month with the days getting longer and all of us starting to dip our toe into Spring and testing the waters as to whether we can jump in yet with both feet. Weather on the coast teaches us to be patient but take advantage of it when we can.
So Wilma's been out with the girls on the grass having picnics and Dwayne and I have started tackeling biking to Vancouver (or from Vancouver to Squamish) during days where the sun is shining and our shedules allow for it.
On another note, on April 11th Payton had her follow up appointment at BCCH which included a visit to the Occupational Therapist, the NeoNatal followup and Audiology.
It was a good appointment and it was determined that Payton is right on track (in some cases ahead)with the expected development of a baby who didn't have the challenges she faced.
We also learned that Payton's fluid in her ears has cleared and while we weren't able to test her ears individually, she passed the hearing test just fine so for all indication, it seems her hearing was due to the fluid.
Recently Payton's been progressing through her crawling stage like wild-fire. I think its one of my most favourite ages since things move so incredibly quickly. She's just learning to mimic (and will sort of wave or clap back) and her crawling yesterday took a turn for 'the better'. She'll now scoot on her bum for short distances to keep from committing to dropping on her tummy.
That will be short lived as yesterday, I also picked her up from her crib after a nap and she was sitting up. Dwayne noticed she was doing the same last night and again I saw her doing it. She's now going from lying belly down into a sitting position. For those who aren't aware, this is the start of her pulling herself up. Where before she didn't have many options to pull herself up now she can crawl (scoot) to an object and get into a sitting position to pull herself up.
Livy has been as entertaining as always and we're learning quickly that a 2.75 year old can be very stubbron and clever. She's already getting a 'no' from one parent and going to the next one asking the same question (or to Wilma if she's in the vicinity).
We're also one step closer to finishing "Man's Land" for toddlers and we have the small TV mounted in the play room so the girls can watch movies there and we can have less Muppets and Princesses' on our main TV.
We also bought Livy a peddle bike last week. We took her out riding and thus far she needs a lot of work but we're trying. I think physically she is able to do it but mentally its a challenge (a lot for a 2-year old brain to process) especially since Dwayne took off the training wheels before she even got on it, so she doesn't even have the practice of turning the pedals before we cut her loose.
All in all our little family is doing well and we're so incredibly excited for summer (well I am anyway)!!!
Saturday, March 31, 2012
Crawling
By all definition of the word Payton is crawling. That is, forward movement with her belly down.
Now, its not pretty. In fact the first few days it looking like a slow version of the worm, bum up, bum down, etc. Now she's got some decent determination and understanding of what she's doing which equals a bit more speed and more mobility. So she's exploring a bit more which so far is just to the top of the stairs: Looking at freedom I'm assuming.
Last Saturday was the 1st indication that she was going to 'crawl' soon. I put her on the bed with Livy and she managed to cover about a foot of our bed and grab Livy's hair. I attributed her success to the uneven level of the mattress giving her an advantage to squirm forward.
But on Monday, March 26th she was on her belly making forward movement for objects covering several feet in one go. The race is on.
For what its worth Livy's 1st official crawl was April 8th. So as far as their gestation is concerned Payton is ahead 2 weeks in the crawling department. Birth wise, they're about neck in neck.
On another note, Livy was pretty good on her feet and was pretty much pulling herself up by now so while Payton is holding her own on the crawling stage, there's other areas she's a bit behind Livy in. Partly because we don't have as many toys for pulling herself up like we did with Livy. So that needs to change. Yesterday she was trying to stand using the jolly jumper so we know its time to bring in some toys that are made for this next step before she gets too ambitious.
On another note today is the day we're taking Payton's soother away. Livy was 5.5 months but it was in conjunction with traveling so it made sense and it made it easy for Liv. At 8 months Payton no longer needs it for soothing rather its become a habit. When sleeping she wants it for 30 seconds and then spits it out...this repeats about 8 times in the night so its time she learns to self sooth so we can all start getting full night sleeps.
Livy continues to grow and while she hasn't gained that much height since her last wall measument in November, it tells me that she's gearing up for a growth spurt in the near future.
Summer is just around the corner and we're starting to see warmer/dryer days. I can't wait till the suns out and we can turn off the heat in the house (April is tomorrow and that is the month we try to turn it off completely though admittedly there's been a few April's where its had to stay on a day or two).
Now, its not pretty. In fact the first few days it looking like a slow version of the worm, bum up, bum down, etc. Now she's got some decent determination and understanding of what she's doing which equals a bit more speed and more mobility. So she's exploring a bit more which so far is just to the top of the stairs: Looking at freedom I'm assuming.
Last Saturday was the 1st indication that she was going to 'crawl' soon. I put her on the bed with Livy and she managed to cover about a foot of our bed and grab Livy's hair. I attributed her success to the uneven level of the mattress giving her an advantage to squirm forward.
But on Monday, March 26th she was on her belly making forward movement for objects covering several feet in one go. The race is on.
For what its worth Livy's 1st official crawl was April 8th. So as far as their gestation is concerned Payton is ahead 2 weeks in the crawling department. Birth wise, they're about neck in neck.
On another note, Livy was pretty good on her feet and was pretty much pulling herself up by now so while Payton is holding her own on the crawling stage, there's other areas she's a bit behind Livy in. Partly because we don't have as many toys for pulling herself up like we did with Livy. So that needs to change. Yesterday she was trying to stand using the jolly jumper so we know its time to bring in some toys that are made for this next step before she gets too ambitious.
On another note today is the day we're taking Payton's soother away. Livy was 5.5 months but it was in conjunction with traveling so it made sense and it made it easy for Liv. At 8 months Payton no longer needs it for soothing rather its become a habit. When sleeping she wants it for 30 seconds and then spits it out...this repeats about 8 times in the night so its time she learns to self sooth so we can all start getting full night sleeps.
Livy continues to grow and while she hasn't gained that much height since her last wall measument in November, it tells me that she's gearing up for a growth spurt in the near future.
Summer is just around the corner and we're starting to see warmer/dryer days. I can't wait till the suns out and we can turn off the heat in the house (April is tomorrow and that is the month we try to turn it off completely though admittedly there's been a few April's where its had to stay on a day or two).
Saturday, March 17, 2012
March's Update and some pics
I'm so glad I've kept this blog. Its wonderful fun going back and remembering where Livy was in her development and seeing how Payton's holding up. For a girl who had such a rough start, she's doing pretty good.
Payton's been working at standing and her legs are good and strong now. She's not trying to get up on her own but unlike Livy, her play area doesn't have anything for her to try it with. This last week she's been up on her knees a few times so the crawling stage is just around the corner. Ironically she's within a week or two of Livy with this development and if Livy (and Wilma) didn't hand her toys so much I'm confident that she would be right on track with Livy. Its good news because with such a slow start you just never know how its going to affect her. Also, so many CDH babies take a few years to 'catch' up to their developmental milestones. Considering Livy was walking before she was 10 months we're hopeful that keeping up to Livy within a few weeks means Payton isn't dealing with any developmental delays of if she is, they're minor.
Livy is pretty good now with her potty training and its only when we're out of the house that we have issues since she's afraid of the automatic flushers (whoever designed those didn't do it with a potty training toddler in their house). I have to keep reminding myself that she's only 2 and its often so hard since she's so talkative, active and (in my mind) smart.
The month of February saw our family all dealing with big colds. Payton ended up with pneumonia and desipte having to go on antibiotics she handled it amazingly well. We're all good and healthy now and hopefully have gotten through Payton's 1st cold season with no huge issues.
Dwayne and I are doing well and while work keeps us super busy (our house is super disorganized) we're gearing up for the spring and we're loving the longer days. Dwayne did his 1st mountain bike ride today (bonked) but it does mark the beginning of summer in our huse. Yipee!!
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
Update
Its been a while since I've updated here. Its March now but on February I typed out the below in a word document and am finaly putting it on here:
A visit from Auntie Deanna and her pooches:
Potty training Daddy Style
Smile!!
Blog update
Life has been keeping us busy, so busy I find I hate getting on the computer after work…but as I’ll ashamedly admit, social media is where I’m currently getting my news flow (that isn’t directly linked to the resource industry).
Livy continues to make me smile with all my being. She’s starting to develop quite the little personality both with a sense of humour that amazes me and a stubbornness that scares me. So we decided a few weeks ago that we needed to actually plan our parenting/disciplining style. Number one being that Dwayne and I are on the same page. For a while now I’ve heard about a discipline technique called 1-2-3 Magic. So far I’ve only read a small portion of the book but what we’ve taken away has been very good. Number 1 for its simplicity, number 2 for its consistency and number 3 because it’s a non-confrontational discipline style, everyone (even Wilma) is comfortable utilizing it. Livy has also been receptive of it and anytime I start to count her poor behaviour she’ll state “Stop counting” and most of the time she’ll curb her behaviour. Occasionally she’ll count me back or happily (while still drawing on the counter) she’ll count for me J.
Right now we have a sick household. I believe I brought it into the house and have mostly recovered from it and currently Dwayne and Payton are in the thick of it. Payton took a subtle turn for the worst early yesterday and so we took her to the doctor. He heard a rattle in her chest and sent her for x-rays. While we haven’t heard any results (which often means a good thing) he did put her on antibiotics for potential pneumonia. As sick as she sounds, she always has a cackle (she cackles when she laughs instead of giggling) and a smile readily available.
This morning Livy work up sick too and when I went to get her out of bed the first thing she said when I asked if she was sick was “Yes, Bob’s sick too”. So there you have it, not only was this cold bad enough to get our family sick, it was enough to get Bob the Dinosaur sick too.
Some photos:
The Bug making pizza.
A visit from Auntie Deanna and her pooches:
Potty training Daddy Style
A long day in the life of Payton
Smile!!
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