Still Alive!!

Did you know that most deaths in hospitals occur on holidays or the weekend? 

Well, happy to say that by Monday I had survived 2 weekends and 1 holiday.  Still Alive!!

One thing I realize I haven't noted through this whole experience is how I have felt.  Aside from the really shitty feeling of being told "we are just looking to extend your life expectancy" and hearing the words "heart transplant candidate" I have felt great even before I stepped into the hospital.  In fact, the only time I have felt crappy is when the medical staff have been at me, medication to try to reset my heart rate, poking me to place more than 8 IV's, daily blood draws, beta and ace inhibitor medication. 

But still, I feel healthy, I feel strong and I feel like I should be any place but here.   So for anyone who's hoping I "feel better soon", its worth noting that I feel great.

Monday was one of the more memorable days of my life...the day I got my heart biopsy.  For anyone who ever has to have one of these unpleasant experiences, I have only one recommendation...get the sedative!!!!

I was told it was a very non-evasive procedure but I have to say that I have never felt so violated in my life.  They went where no person should ever go!!  And the memory of that experience is not even slightly dulled much to my chagrin.

When I heard the doctor (surgeon? are they considered surgeons?) say "no, not that one, that's the artery, that ones the vein" I saw my life flash before my eyes.  At that point, scalpel at the throat, I was too afraid of any unexpected movement to say "perhaps he shouldn't be practicing on a patient that has barely lived half their lifetime!!"

Thankfully, I survived and ironically the entry hole isn't quite as big as I thought it was going to be when the not-so-experienced-surgeon said "I need more scalpel".

Now we just wait.