I'll Love You Forever...

{This was an unpublished post I drafted back in the fall of 2013 as a family update. Just over a year ago.  I'm posting it now because its a wonderful reminder of how life is wonderful and if you have perspective you can look at the little things, the things we often take for granted, and find wonder, happiness and beauty.  Life has thrown a lot of lemons at us but I'll forever be grateful for seeing the world in this different light}

...and that little girl, she grew.  She grew and she grew and she grew.

That book pretty much sums up my life right now.  The girls are growing, I'm trying to hold them, love them as much as I can but they are still growing.  And no matter how much I cherish that moment when I hold them, when I breath deeply of their scent, or hold them tight, cuddle, play, laugh with them...its never enough.

There's not much going on in our lives that is 'big' or 'exciting' and things are generally very good for us.

We recently spent some time with my extended family at a wedding and it was so great to see so many wonderful people but so frightening to see so many "babies" all of a sudden grown up. 

Life can be so incredibly bitter sweet and you know what...it doesn't help when you stop and smell the roses because it still goes too fast (trust me, I've been making every effort to stop and smell over the last few years) and then you feel like you were cheated.  Like you bought that infomercial product with high expectations that it was going to be a life changer and you realized that your just like everyone else, time goes too fast and memories are slipping through the cracks in your brain like little wisps of smoke.  Still, I'm incredibly thankful that the smell of a rose is now so familiar to me.

Its when going through the photos of the weekend (yes, sorry...the best one, was the one with hand photo bomb) I'm shocked to realize that my family is a family of 2 parents and 2 girls.  There are no babies anymore.


Livy is having intellectual conversations.  She's "figuring" out the world around her with observations, questions and curiosity.  She's not asking just "why" she's asking "why not".
The larger and larger glimpses I see of the person she is going to be amazes me and excites me...there is still that rambunctious little toddler, eagerly stirring up trouble, but man, that person in there is going to be amazing.  The problem is I have to let go of that toddler to meet that person.  I'm not sure that trade off is 'ok' with me and after all I have seen/experienced, I hate it when life chooses things for you. 

Payton, what a character.  Its amazing how smart she is on such different levels than Livy.  While Olivia was talking like a 10 year old at the age of 2 (pronunciation and vocabulary wise), Payton talks like a 2 year old (with a wicked vocabulary) but will tease and joke with us using a sense of humour even Livy is too young to understand.  Where did this wisdom come from?  I have no idea but I truly believe Payton is the first "old soul" I've ever met.  Though not because she's far too mellow or somber for her age but more because she seems to have an intelligence about her that is years beyond her age...a very funny intelligence I must say.

So there we have it.  Two girls, raised in the same home by the same parents. One child breaks into laughter and giggles with fart and poop jokes while the other finds it hysterical to "answer the remote control like a phone, tell you its for you then laugh at you as she points out that your talking into a remote and not a phone".

I have to say this parenting thing...its pretty darn awesome, even if its completely out of my control.

{End of Drafted Message}