24 weeks

By the time we arrived in the delivery room it was a few short hours before our 24 week mark. It certainly didn't slip my mind that if we hadn't had the change in time (due to us going from daylight savings to regular time) or if we had delivered in Ontario instead of BC things would have been slightly different timing wise, and maybe even life altering for some of us. Instead, we played with the cards that we were dealt and so we were prepared to lose one of our babies and in our hearts we were so optimistic that despite the pending loss, we were doing everything we could to save one of our babies.

We were told that to best protect Baby A (and hope for labour to stop after Baby B was born) I couldn't push out Baby B (as it could cause the uterus to continue contracting) and that because Baby B was breech we were told he would probably get stuck in the birth canal and would probably be still born.

To our amazement, Dayne Edward came out fairly quick and even tried to take in a few breaths (Dwayne almost missed his birth by going to the bathroom).

He was beautiful. Born at 2:47 am, Dayne Edward weight 735 g (1lb 10 oz).

Though you could see the effects of the pPROM (he had a club foot, a turned in leg, slightly squished nose and no fat on his cheeks due to the pressure in utero) he was absolutely perfect in every way and each and every one of those effects would have been easily corrected over time had he been born just a few weeks later.

His heart beat for an amazing 1 hour and 20 minutes. Could we have saved him if the doctors had tried to do everything possible?? Who knows. The doctors certainly weren't prepared for a live baby and certainly weren't prepared for such a big baby. We still don't know how developed his lungs were due to the lack of fluid. Regardless, we are forever grateful that we got to love him and hold him while he was alive rather than have him hooked to tubes and needles in the NICU only to lose him later due to his extreme prematurity and the effects of his ruptured membrane.

Dayne had so many features of his Dad. He had his dad's straight nose, his lips, his hair colour and his hair line. We are so proud of him. His will to fight and live for so long despite the odds that were stacked against him.

Following Dayne's birth the docs administered the steroids in the hopes that we could mature Baby A lungs. Though 48 hours is ideal, even having the baby get 4 hours of the steroids is known to make a huge difference in their chance of survival at this early stage.

5 hours later (after continuously telling people that I could feel Baby A moving further and further down) the docs finally checked Baby A using an ultrasound. Yes, Baby A had moved well into the birth canal...unfortunately, there was no heart beat.

Daniel David (very surprised and pleased with another boy) was born sleeping at 8:32 am. Weighting 725 g (1 lb 9.5 oz), he was perfect in everyway and he took after his mom with his turned up nose, dark, low hairline (that strangely ran into his eyebrows) and the overall shape of his head. Though he would have very much been a replica of his mom, he had his dad's lips. His cheeks were chubby and though he stayed rather dark due to not getting oxygen, he too was simply gorgeous.


Dayne (left) and Daniel (right) (click to enlarge photos)



The remainder of the day was spent talking to and holding our babies, taking pictures and dressing them into tiny outfits made with love and donated by some very thoughtful stranger. We took footprints of each boy and made every effort to remember each and every detail of how they looked.



We will never forget November 7th. It will forever be in our hearts as the day we witnessed unconditional love for each other and our boys but also a day we learned how precious life really is.

We are blessed that we were able to hold our baby boys their entire lives. They brought us so much joy and filled us with absolute wonder.



It is absolutely true that life is not measured by how many breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.

23 weeks 6 days

We are now 1 measily day shy of that 24 week survival mark. What a horrible position to be in. Hospital policy prevents them from doing a number of things at this stage. Though we're still a bit confused as to some of the exact procedures at this point, we relied 100% on what we were told (or implied) could and couldn't be done. We had faith in the hospital staff. At no point did we think that we should question what was or wasn't done. We believed in them when they told us there was a chance that the labour would stop.

How do we feel now?? We're not sure. Being angry, asking for answers won't bring back our boys. But I digress...

Back to the story...

After the first shot of morphine wore off I waited about an hour (with very intense contractions...~3 min apart still). Finally at about 3:30 am they gave me a second shot of morphine. This time though the morphine only took the edge off the intense pain of the contractions and by now I was only able to sleep between contractions (approx 1 min 45 seconds).

At 8 am the morphine once again wore off and once again I waited a good hour until again requesting something for the pain. They adminstered another shot of morphine and once again it managed to only take away the worst of the pain. The only upside is it made me woozy enough that falling asleep between contractions was easy.

At 10:30 am the hospital arranged for an ultrasound to measure my cervix. Though I dozed through much of the ultrasound I did once again get to see my beautiful babies. Had I known it would be the last time I saw them moving so freely and lively, I would have fought harder stay awake. Often the technician would have to stop during my contractions but the end result was Baby B had moved closer to the cervix and was persenting feet first (breech). The good news was, though the cervix was shortening, it was still closed.

A few hours later the morphine began to wear off and once again my contractions started getting worse. This time though...no more morphine. They had already given me alot (so they said ;)) and wouldn't give anymore so I waited out the pain. Every 2.5 minutes for the next few hours. Finally a nurse came in and made the decision to give me gas for the pain (I had no idea you could get gas?!?!). That helped calm me down and though I could still feel the contractions, the gas allowed me to relax properly between them and be able to weather the pain.

At around 6 pm the doctor came in and said that she wanted to do a cervix check since there was no way I was having those kind of contractions without dialating. Sure enough, Baby B's foot was through the cervix...there was no stopping his being born.

At that point we were given 3 options.

1) Protect the mom (recommended by the hospital since we were still before the 24 week mark). That meant they would induce labour for both babies in order to guarentee the safest possible outcome for me.

2) Try to save Baby A. Since the rupture Baby B was presenting first, we could try to deliver Baby B (and the method of delivery would pretty much guarantee 0% survival for Baby B) but it would allow a 50% chance that labour would stop and Baby A would survive (at least long enough for steriod shots to work on his/her lungs...ideally 48 hours).

3) Try to save both babies knowing that the survival rate for twins born before 24 weeks was dismal. This method would have resulted in a c-section (since the presenting baby was breech).

We chose option 2 since we had no idea if Baby B's lungs would be developed enough at this point to allow for survival if we opted for a c-section.

23 weeks 4 days

I'm actually writing this post in retrospect on November 22 as I've finally had the time to come back to this point to finally tell the story of the final leg in our journey.

This post is meant to reiterate the day that was November 5th but in hindsight, its best to go back to the evening of November 4th.

Sunday evening (at 23w4d and the night before the NICU tour) I wasn't feeling all that hot. I had a light back ache (not uncommon due to the stress of sitting in the same position all day) but I was also feeling lightly crampy in the bottom of my belly...almost achy.

I went to bed early as often over night any aches and pains usually sorted themselves out. That night I continued to wake throughout the night still feeling achy and so in the morning, when I still had the light back ache and light tummy pain I packed an overnight bag knowing that what I was feeling wasn't normal and I stupidly thought that the hospital would be just as concerned as I was.

Dwayne, my mother and myself went into the city early as we had scheduled a 3D ultrasound that morning (for keepsake purposes in light of this being such a high risk pregnancy) and on the way into town I could feel I was having very light contractions. As they were very mild (felt slightly painful but I thought maybe because I was already so achey they were noticable) I attributed them to braxton hicks.

We spent 1/2 an hour downtown in the car while Dwayne ran some errands. I sat in the car trying to time the contractions (~8 mins) using the car clock and debated whether I should skip the 3D ultrasound and go right to the hospital. A part of me knew if we were indeed in labour that I would forever regret not having the 3D ultrasound and a part of me worried that by not going to the hospital, they may not catch it soon enough.

We went to the ultrasound and it was absoultely beautiful. Though I leaked heavily in the elevator upto the ultrasound room there was plenty of fluid for us to see baby b in 3D. For the first time since the rupture I felt that everything was going to be perfect! Our high risk baby had plenty of fluid despite me constantly leaking!!

As far as the genders were concerned? Baby B was a BOY! I cried tears of joy at the news. I can't begin to explain how amazed and in love we were. Baby A proved much more elusive. We couldn't get a clear shot in 3D of his/her face and he/she was very modest as we had a hard time with the gender. Best guess...Girl.

In hindsight I'm so very glad that we did the 3D ultrasound. Ultimately going to the hospital would have resulted in absolutely nothing and today we wouldn't have that beautiful memory.

Once at the hospital we met with the first Perinatologist where I explained my concern with my contractions (which were much closer...less than 4 minutes at this point). The Peri did all the basic measurements and said he'd report to the head doc and she'd be in to see us shortly.

The main Peri came into the office and her first words were "well, the good news is there's absolutely NO indication that your in early labour". We then listened to the rest of her speal and finally I questioned her about what I should look for in terms of early labour if this wasnt' it. She said, "regular contractions that are at least 5 minutes apart". I told her mine were between 3-4 minutes. She then said, "well, the have to be very regular and longer than 30 seconds". As I hadn't really timed the duration and was using a clock without a second hand to time I had no response.

She then said, "well, i can check your cervix but with your rupture and us wanting to avoid infection its not recommended". Based on her comments I chose to avoid further risk of infection.

We left her office and went to get our flu shots, the contractions continued.

By the time Dwayne went to get the car, I went to the bathroom and noticed that I had started bleeding. Back to the peri again where I requested a cervix check.

The first peri we saw then admitted us to a room for monitoring and they decided to keep me overnight. By then the pain of the contractions were very uncomfortable and they adminstered morphine in the hopes that by minimizing the pain, my body would relax enough and the contractions would stop.

That evening the contractions did slow for an hour or so but by 3 am they were back in full force, the morphine had worn off and I was in even worse pain.

23 weeks 2 days

Well, I survived yesterday (Thursday) and for once it brought with it a ton of surprises.

The first being of course that THIS Thursday marks the FIRST day in November (ya, another month and a clean calendar sheet to begin ticking off).

In the morning I had a wonderful surprise phone call from a dear friend from University, Kirsten (a geologist) who called specifically to 'cheer me up' on my dreaded Thursday (what a godsend).

Then later in the day I recieved another call, this time from my friend Deanna (also a geologist) asking if I wanted company that evening so her and her fiancee (Dale) made the trip up from North Vancouver to spend the evening with Dwayne and I (though Dwayne and Dale did sneak out for an evening of dodge ball).

All in all I'd have to say it was one of my better spent Thursdays since starting bedrest.

And today (Friday)!! We hit our 7 week mark following our PROM. That's 49 days since the rupture!! Which in my mind (and all the statistics I can find) is extremely rare and promising. By no means are we out of the woods yet, but certainly way back when (on Sept 14) there was absolutely no way I would have believed I would still be sitting in bed (still sane) with a wonderfully growing belly by November.

Now my goal is to see another calendar month go by. You guessed it, December. Also, if we can hold out till there's snow on the ground that will officially put us on "bed rest" for 3 seasons!!

Things have pretty much remained status quo until today when I noticed Baby A was executing a rendition of Swan Lake in my belly. I kid you not, this little monster was ALL over the place until it got to the point where everytime he would make a concerted effort to break out of the belly I was feeling a sharp pain in one area. This lasted for about 15 very noticable movements until I was begging him to stop. Finaly he settled but shortly after I experienced a bleed. I seriously think this little gymnast moved so much that he tore something!!! The docs on call assured me that if things have settled (which they did) that I can rest easy for now. WHEW
(for the record, when a baby kicks that hard I call it a boy...when they're sleeping soundly, its a girl).

Aside from that excitement we are closely reaching our 24 week mark. This is a huge milestone as we are now treated differently by the hospitals in that our babies are termed "viable".

On Monday we will take the tour of the NICU unit at Women & Childern's Hospital and have any last minute questions answered by both the perinatologist and neonatologist at the hospital.

Following that we'll begin making all the necessary plans to get me moved into the city so that I'm only ~ 20 minutes from the hospital. So though I would LOVE to go another 12 weeks on bedrest carrying these little ones, I also know that 12 weeks on bedrest in a strange surrounding isn't going to be quite as easy emotionally. Still, I'm bound and determined to make every week/day and hour count and will continue to do so for as long as I can.

Aside from that, I'll sign off and ensure to provide an update on our visit to the NICU on Monday.

23 weeks

Happy Halloween!!

Yes, we advanced another week today and that means one week further along.

While I'm happy on some levels that its Halloween (as typically Halloween is one of my more favourite holidays) unfortunately this years it comes with many mixed emotions.

Unfortunately today has seen an increase of leaking fluid. While normally leaking is limited to when I get up after lying down or when I go to the bathroom, a new trend has emerged where I'm now leaking no matter where I am or what I am doing. Its disheartening to say the least.

On a much better note, I distinctly felt Baby B moving today and whenever that happens its a good day. Movements from that side of the belly are so far and few between that it really is a moment of joy when I'm reminded that he/she is still plugging along.

While I'm trying to muster up some excitement for tonight's trick-or-treating I have to admit that its something that very much reminds me of the fearful unknown that our future will bring. Wondering what, if any, Halloween costumes will be front and center for us next year. Will it be another year of us dressing up our dogs?? Or will we be blessed with the hassel of having to organize two costumes for two squirming little ones.

That coupled with the fact that once again Dwayne and I will not be together for Halloween. This has begun to be a regular occurrance for us and various holidays. In the 5 years we've been together we've only spent 1 Valentines day together, one wedding anniversary was spent apart and of course many other notable days during the year. Though not a huge deal (since some weeks I can honestly say we see too much of each other ;)) when your sitting in a room with very little stimulation, any small upside does help.

Oh, where is Dwayne you ask?? He's out near Princeton doing some field work. Babysitting a geologist (for the record, most geologists don't need babysitting. Just this one). So while he is working (in late fall weather conditions) he's also walking (yup, I'm jealous) and spending time with the doggies (ahhh, what I would give).

I'm hoping that this evening's festivities (from the comfort of a chair) provides some of the former enjoyment I usually get during Halloween. If not, I'll be sure to stuff myself full of chocolate. At least there's that for a silver lining :).

UPDATE:

Mom did an awesome job decorating our house for the 15 or so Trick-or-Treaters that came by today.

Not only did she decorate, but she dressed up to hand out candy. What a trooper!!

I on the other hand, took the time to paint my belly.

After the 'rush' Kayreen, John and little Michael came over with dinner (mmm, pizza) and their costumes.

So here we all are in our costumes. Yup, looks like fun eh? Ha, always more work goes into these photos than meets the eye!! Notice how much Kayreen takes after our mother?? :)

22 Weeks

22 weeks (you guessed it) another week down, and another week closer to that "golden" milestone.

Things have been progressing well though I'll admit, as we start to near that 24 week mark I'm starting to get nervous. Its been a goal since 16w2d (date of rupture) so I've sort of made that milestone 'larger than life' and as a result, the closer we get, the more nervous. Sort of like the school play. You practice and practice to get to that fateful day with so much anticipation and eagerness. You count down the days, then the hours and then minutes then your hovering just on the sidelines waiting fory your cue... and just about at the point where you're timed to make your debut appearance, all you want to do is hurl. Yup, sort of like that.

On another note, I started taking bi-weekly belly shots (no, not the straight on close up like my earlier posts...I'll only subject you to that hairy monster once each pregnancy). But the profile shots showing my expanding belly :).


Here's the 22+week bump (ok so it took me till 22w2d to muster up a picture).

For the record, I absolutely LOVE my belly and I cannot wait for it to get even bigger!! I can't wait for my belly button to pop out and quite honestly I'm so looking forward to that first stretch mark (and the many many more to follow). You guessed it...I'm hoping to be as big as a house with all the battle scars to prove it and I'm going to wear them with pride (and a bikini :D). The bigger I am of course means the longer these little monsters are baking. (again remind me of this later when I'm complaining).

Not much else is going on. We're still leaking amniotic fluid throughout the day and recently I had a wicked cold that pretty much took control of my life for 2 days. Fortunatly it eased up quickly and though tired, I'm recovering like a champ. As for the amniotic fluid, we're chalking that up to the fact that the little one is growing thus peeing more and there's just more fluid in general to go around.

Tomorrow is Thursday again and as much as I hate Thursdays (as you may recall), its also the LAST Thursday in October so YAY for that.

Renee

21 weeks 4 days

Not much to report in the last few days. Things have been plugging along slowly but plugging along.

I've come to expect the late in the day movement from Baby A and he/she's beginning to be like clockwork. Usually now I noticed the strongest movement at around 8 pm or so and the last two nights it feels like he/she is actually turning around.

Last night in fact I was lying on my side and I could feel him/her moving. I went to sit up and I swear I could feel him/her get 'stuck' half way through a turn as they were wedged in sideways for a second on two before they slid into a more comfortable position. Quite amazing really.

Still, I'm technically only feeling movement on the right lower side of my belly from Baby A and as much as I wish I could feel Baby B moving like A (signifying all is well) I also know the less Baby B moves, the more likely that fluid will remain for him/her to breath.

Dwayne's been good these last few days and has kicked it up a notch with his cooking. So though most meals still have a 'bachelor' flavour to them, more and more I'm getting a smile and good service to boot :).

Fall continues to settle in with the rains and falling leaves. Its just as well that I'm in bed as its one of my least favourite seasons...signifying something coming to an end. Hopefully soon the snow will come and we'll once again be moving on to the next season.

Halloween is just around the corner and I'm so looking forward to pulling up a chair at the window and checking out all the costumes this year.

First though I need to convince Dwayne (Mr Bah Humbug himself) to decorate the house.

Back in the Swing

Thursday, October 18, 2007
21w1d

Ok, I'm back in the swing of things for posting so I figured that even though two posts have the same date, one is a re-hash of everything missed, while the other (the one you're currently reading) is today's official post.

For the record, I hate Thursdays. I absolutely LOVE Wednesdays as it means we've progressed to the next week mark. Thursdays though signify we're DAAAAYYYSS away from our next week. I know, technically each day is equal...but still, someone way back when decided to 'label' these day/weeks so I'm unfortunately stuck with the mental repercussions of those labels.

Mmm, lets see. One of the things I have noticed is that my innards are taking a beating. Not so much by Baby B (bless her/his heart) but by Baby A. I swear somedays I'm dealing with a 'potential' monster (signifying the days to come). There's days were I'm sure he/she is active for 2 hours straight. What baby is awake for 2 hours straight?? and moving so much? Fortunatly he/she settles at night so mom can sleep.

I can't honestly tell if Baby B has joined in much on the movement. There's times when the movement is more "in between" where the babies lie but if its Baby A still, that means that Baby A is taking up about 65% of the room in there so I'm chalking it up to Baby B kicking Baby A back a few times and possibly missing every once in a while and accidently kicking mom.

On another note, these last 5 weeks on bedrest have been both hard and beautiful. It wasn't until we experienced our rupture that I realized how emotionally invested in these babies I have become. Up until then it was mostly just a concept and it wasn't until now, that we're faced with potentially losing them, that I think Dwayne and I have both realized how much we've come to intergrate them into our lives. Neither of us can imagine life without two childern or for that matter, life without any.

As far a status report on mom. There's no doubt my butt is SORE. I've never imagined it could hurt this much just from sitting. My belly continues to grow and over the last couple of days I've noticed that my belly button is now just a recent memory (its now flat...Dwayne calls it a sphincter). I'm hoping that by next week I'll have an outie for the first time in my life :).

Here's my now flat naval (or sphincter as per Dwayne)...notice the abnormal amounts of hair on that belly (warning do not click to enlarge pic!!) . Yup, I'm a whole lot harrier now that I'm pregnant. No thin line for me...no way, we go big in this family or go home :).

Though my belly keeps getting bigger, my weight gain is still slow. I'm still a few pounds off my prepregnancy weight but the good news is I had/still have, more than enough padding to keep us going through any natural disaster if needed. I think for the most part, having two has kept my belly big but stomach rather small (not much room for food) and the lack of activity certainly keeps me from needing much food.

Its amazing how I haven't had any real cravings and I'm not sure if this will change, but hopefully not as I'm too reliant on others for fullfilling those cravings.

Dwayne's doing well. He seems to have a warped sense of what he needs/should do through out this all. Though its hard to see him have a "normal" life while I sit here watching the paint peel, Dwayne has continued to make use of his time as he says he feels like a bachelor again.

He's now booting me out on Saturdays (or notifying me that he's not going to be around) due to wanting to have guys over (or go to various places) for Hockey Night in Canada. Then there's the Playstation3 that we seemed to have needed.

His culinary skills are lacking (Dwayne, if your reading this, don't make me post what I'm thinking to back this up) but despite that he's usually (60% of the time) eager to go and get me dinner. Still, he's been great on many levels and I wouldn't trade him for anything (except maybe a whooper right about now).

Last night was a rare treat and I have to say a wonderful example of how much I am loved :).

While sitting in bed all day my sister and mother came over. Mom left for 'gorceries' and never returned.

There was Kayreen, Michael (crying away) and I hanging out for 2.5 hours in my bed (which I can understand Michael crying since I know first hand how uncomfortable my bed is).


Michael pretending to be Auntie Renee (though he looks much less miserable)

Dwayne got home from the city and fell asleep on the couch (so I thought).

Well, mom finally arrives and amongst a huge cuffle of activity and noise, I find I'm left with Michael alone in the bedroom "trying to put him to sleep". Instead we just visited (ok, so he just stared at me).

Well, phone rings. Its Dwayne's brother Mike. I'm hollering for someone to get Dwayne...now John's here...pokes his head in the door....sorry, Dwayne's sleeping can't come to the phone and he's so angry I don't want to bother him again. Uggh!!! Sorry, Mike, can Dwayne call you back.

5 minutes later Kayreen comes in and says "we're trying to make you some dinner, can you come and wake up Dwayne, he's being very grouchy about the noise and won't listen to anyone (ha ha, the ironic part is I believed this...but I do still love my husband, its just as well that Oscar the Grouch was also my favourite Seseme character).

Well out to the living room I go and I'm shocked to see that everyone had put up halloween decorations, lights and PUMPKINS for carving. They also got me hand made (and other)chocolates and dinner that night was perogies again (bought from a deli so better than store and pretty good).



What an absolute TREAT and a blast cleaning out and carving pumpkings (though an eye opener as to how weak my arms are).

That said, just before signing off I want to wish my other brother-in-law a very Happy Birthday today. The big 4-0, so as much as I'm not liking this Thursday, I imagine there are others out there feeling more sorry for themselves than I am :).

Hiccup in Posting Due to Irritable Husband :)

Hi all,

Sorry its been so long since we've updated the blog. Actually to be honest, it hasn't been that long, its just Dwayne decided that he didn't like something I said on my last post and in his panic to fix it, he proceeded to erase the entire post and mess up the password. For the record...do not lose your password if you have a blog. Its extremely frustrating and difficult to figure out how to get back on without jumping through a lot of cyber hoops.

A little bit of back ground. The 'rupture' we experienced on September 14 is called pPROM (Preterm Premature Rupture of the Membrane). While its the number one cause of preterm labour (and preterm deaths) its extremly rare for such things to happen quite this early (16+weeks). As of today (day I'm posting this 'background' post) we've received tons of information and I've added that information below as we've basically learned of it.

Ok, so I'll back track in time so that we can update you properly....mmm, lets see. When was our last post? Ekk!! Sept 17?? Jeesh.

September 20th, 2007

17w1d

Today is our big day in regards to the ultrasound following the rupture. Since Friday we hadn't noticed any leaking (or bleeding) so our hopes were high that things had in fact resealed.

The ultrasound showed two heartbeats again and FLUID!!! While certainly not a lot of fluid (Baby A had that luxury), there definitely was fluid.

One thing we were also able to see was one of the membranes (as the sac has two seperate membranes) was 'floating' and you could actually see it rise and fall as if Baby B was breathing. On one hand the fact that the membrane was floating means it hadn't sealed and was instead loose but on the other, fluid was present and we're hopeful that the indication that Baby B was appearing to breath the fluid is also a positive sign.

Both babies are sitting on an angle (they used to be transverse which means lying sideways in my tummy but I'm guessing as they run out of room they have to move one way or the other). The best way to describe them so far is breech, feet down. But no worries...still many many weeks to turn (usually up till 32 weeks as twins run out of room much earlier than singletons)

Later that day we recieved a phone call from the OGBYN mentioning some anomalies on the ultrasound. We also recieved notice that on Monday (at 17w5d) we'd be seeing another specialist, this time a perinatologist (a doctor that specialises in high risk pregnancies).

Friday, September 21

17w1d

YAY - we hit the 1 week mark from the rupture with NO problems.

One thing we learned (via internet...my lifeline since being on bedrest) is the statistics show when dealing with PROM that 50% of PROM mothers go into labour within 24 hours and 90% within a week. So hitting that 1 week mark has been crutial as far as our optimism for the next 15+ weeks.

Monday, September 24, 2007

17w5d

Today we officially shift our prenatal care over to Women's and Childern's (possibly for the remainder of the pregnancy). W&C has a Level III NICU which means they have the ability to deliver and care for premies as early as 24 weeks (age of viability) though we've since been told they've had success with babies as early as 23 weeks.

Still, even if we managed to make it the full 36 weeks (typical with twins) there's no indication that Baby B (unless its membranes fully heal) will have full (or any) lung capacity so for the duration of the pregnancy, Baby B is expected to NEED the Level III NICU level of care.

During our ultrasound we once again saw the much coveted 2 heartbeats.

I still hadn't been leaking (that I knew) and once again there was fluid around Baby B.

Sorry, only Twin A in these pics...will put more up so you can see Twin B

We don't know the genders. Unfortunately at W&C they won't tell you the genders until 24 weeks. Personally we think its a stupic rule but even the $20 bribe didn't budge the technician so alas here we sit genderless.

The beautiful thing is that Baby B (smart little bean that s/he is) had his/her hands up by his/her face creating a nice little pocket of fluid. The biggest pocket of measurable fluid for Baby B was 2.8 cm (Baby A had 4.3) and the Perninatologist said that anything over 2 was good.

We asked about the fact that we hadn't noticed any leaking and if that meant the membrane was healed. Unfortunatly the fluid level is still low so the Peri said we could easily leak and not know. For now the leak is slower than the fluid build up so good news there.

The ultrasound allievated any previous issues (recall 17w2d u/s) but in another turn of evens showed a few more...still minor at this point.

On a good note. Baby B definitely had enough fluid to flip around. Yup, Baby A (the lazy one) is still 'breech' but Baby B is now head down. We're considering this to be an extremely positive sign that the fluid levels are high enough for him/her to move that much.

Following the ultrasound we met with the Peri (one of a team of 6 we'll see through the rest of the pregnancy). She was able to fill us in on a few of the more detailed issues.

pPROM rate of survival = 25-50% (when dealing with non developed lungs)

(its worth explaining how the lungs develop. From 17-24 week the lungs are going through the essential 'growth' stage. At 17 weeks the only basic part of the lung is the broncial tube. No smaller branches have formed yet. In order for these to form, the baby must have fluid to breath in. No fluid, no lungs and even though the baby can survive in utero once born it of course needs lungs. Once babies hit the 24 week mark, the lungs (for the most part) have grown and whats left if maturation. That's where those wonderful steriods come in. But lets not get ahead of ourselves. First off, lung growth).

Other factors that also play in are risk of infection. If we develop an infection, both babies will be delivered no matter how early we are. An infection isn't just a risk to one or both babies, but its also a risk to mom's life and the life of her uterus. So we work hard in our house hold to stay germ free (actually its my mom who works hard so very big thank you to her and her hard work).

On a much more minor note, other things that can take place is underdeveloped digestive systems and joint/limb restrictions, dislocations, fractures etc as baby has a much harder time moving without fluid. Again, the digestive system is minor (despite the possiblity of it being deadly) basically if the digestive system hasn't formed, its likely the lungs haven't grown. As far as joint/limb issues...most can be corrected after birth and though probably more common (as lungs can grow but baby can still have physical issues) its not something we're worried about at this stage.

Also worth adding is that I started to experinece Braxton Hicks. Yup, its official that I can feel that my uterus is 'preparing' for delivery (for the record these fake contractions begin at 6 weeks pregnancy but you really can't feel them until much later). No harm though (I'm assured). They go away when I lie down completely so its a quick fix if I get them too often.

Sunday, September 30, 2007

18w4d

We've had a pretty uneventful few weeks until today. Today I felt movement for the very first time. In fact, you could even feel movement on the outside of my belly the kicks (head butts??) were so strong.

On another note today is my Dad's birthday the big 6-0!!!! (Happy Birthday Grandpa!!) so all around it was a wonderful combination of news for such a wonderful day.

Wednesday, October 3 - 5, 2007 (and on)

19w !!!!

Today has been bittersweet.

19weeks is a wonderful milestone (not an official one but a good one nonetheless) but I also started bleeding today. Uggh.

Called the emergency number for the Peri and got the on call Peri. I was so chocked. Not that I think there's much they can do but he didn't even ask my name in order to put it on my file (this was an eye opener since my OBGYN who I was seeing prior to the rupture was always so on top of any concerns and problems I was having).

So, the next day I called my OBGYN. He told me to come in the next day.

What a glorious day to get out of the house. Not to mention that the weather that day was gorgeous. On another shocking note...it was Autumn!! When the heck did that happen. When I went on bedrest it was still summer...now Autumn?!?! Amazing.

The appointment with the OBGYN went well. There's still some confusion as to who's taking over my primary care but he's assured me that W&C's Perinatologist department wants to take over my primary care.

All in all, the assessment of the appointment is: blood is good, fluid is bad. Right now its just blood.

Later that night unfortunatly the blood turned to fluid and thus a new pattern has been established. Everytime I get up to go to the bathroom I leak a pocket of fluid. Apparently the membrane hasn't healed.

Sunday, October 7, 2007

19w4d

Thanksgiving weekend (of turkey and family) officially begins.

Tonight we 'uprooted' me and transferred over to Kayreen and John's (sister and brother-in-law). Friends (Daniela & Ajay) came up from the city. Of course my mom was there (hence most of the yummy food) and the evening was a wonderful escape from the dolldrums of my bedroom.

Food included the traditional turkey but also the rare treat of homemade perogies and cabbage rolls (recipes that have been handed down through the generations...love those Ukranians).

Following dinner a deliceous pumpkin cheesecake and a board game. Mmm, fun. That night was the first good sleep I had in a while.

Monday, October 8, 2007

19w5d

Our Thanksgiving weekend continues, this time with a rare treat from Dwayne's side of the family (as they only come out west, from Saskatchewan, about once a year).

Dwayne's Dad (Frank) and wife (Shirley) were here to help us celebrate the tail end of Thanksgiving and brought with them a dozen beautiful long stemmed roses and enough food to feed a small army.

That night we dined on steak and seafood so for the most part over the weekend I covered most of the meat groups.

The night ended on an overall high as I opened up a can of whoop-arse on the crib board against Frank. Though I let him squeak in a 1 point win on game one, game two saw Frank seeing the wrong end of a skunking and game three...you guessed it. A double skunking for poor Frank (thanks Frank for making my night :).

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

20w !!!

We've hit our first "Official" milestone (keeping in mind these are personal not medical milestone).

Today our little ones are recognized as 'potential' citizens. Yes, if they are born today, they will have birth certificates and that makes mom and dad so proud of them.

Still leaking and still having frequent braxton hicks but feeling doubly good to have hit our first official milestone. Now only 10 more weeks to go and I'll start breathing a sigh of relief.

Monday, October 15, 2007

20w5d

Yup, back to W&C for another ultrasound and another visit with a Peri.

Today's ultrasound was especially nervewracking. Earlier in the week I was searching for the babies heartbeats with a doppler (amazing what you can get on Ebay now-a-days) and couldn't find it. I didn't freak out too much...just enough to be worried at this ultrasound especially since the leaking has been ongoing for 10 days now.

The good news is the leaking seems to have slowed. Now I notice it more after I've been lying down flat and less when I'm sitting up or standing.

The ultrasound showed us AGAIN the first thing we look for...2 heartbeats!!

The next thing they did was go over the previous ultrasound's minor issues and all those previous things of concern were allieviated.

On a good and bad note. Baby B still has fluid, but his/her fluid levels are much lower than our last ultrasound. This time the biggest pocket of fluid was 1.3 cm (recall they want a minimum of 2 cm). Still, our smart little bean had some and what he/she did have they were making the most out of it by once again keeping his/her hand in front of the face and creating a little pocket of fluid there.

On a bright note...both babies this time have moved (maybe Baby A isn't as lazy as I thought). Baby A is now right where we want him/her (again still a long ways away from staying put I know) but baby A is vertex with his/her head nestled low enough that the ultrasound technician had a hard time looking at his/her face behind my pelvic bone. Baby B!?!?! Well, he/she is now Breech...yup, feet down. So we're once again taking that as a good sign that Baby B IS moving.

No genders yet. We keep getting stonewalled at this hospital by the technicians. Aw well, that means we'll just HAVE to make it to the next ultrasound since by then we'll be at the cut off for when we can find out (I think).

Our appointment with the Peri following the ultrasound helped keep things into perspective when the Peri mentioned that having a little bit of fluid was good.

Discussions have now also begun on the ramifications of hitting that 24 week mark (the level of viability).

They brought the neonatologist over from the NICU and he went over and explained all the things we can expect when dealing with the NICU. Recall, even if we make it past the point of prematurity, Baby B has a high likelyhood of having serious complications which could result in him/her having a stay in the NICU no matter how far along we get.

The stats we've been given include some survival rates at 23 weeks (~15%)

24 weeks the survival rates go up to 50%

and 25 weeks ~65%

and 26 weeks 80%.

Keep in mind, these are stats for "normal" unstressed babies and don't take into account issus that we have/may have like infection and pPROM.

One thing we have been told is that with twins, we're unfortunatly bumped back about a week. So while a singleton's viability technically starts a 24 weeks, for us its more like 25 weeks (sigh, nothing comes free or easy with this).

Still, we're optimistic that things are going well so far and will continue to do so. On another note, my Braxton Hicks have settled so hopefully that means my water intake is right where it needs to be.

On another note, I just wanted to add that today is Dwayne and my 2nd Anniversary.

Yes, when looking back its amazing at all the things that we have experienced over the last 2 years. Sometimes we wonder if we've managed to squeeze all the stress seen through out the years of a normal marriage into the 2 short years that we've had so far.

If that's the case then Dwayne and I are very ready to sit back and enjoy a very UNEVENTFUL life together.

16 weeks 5 days

Ok, so life has thrown us a curveball. Or should we say, another curveball!

We had a horrible experience on Friday at 16 weeks and 2 days when I started gushing amniotic fluid. Turned out that Baby B's sac has ruptured and he/she had lost most of its fluid.

Rest assured, at an ultrasound later in the day we saw two beautiful heartbeats. And though Baby b was squished due to lack of fluid, he/she was doing well.

The first course of action was administering antibiotics via an IV in the hopes of preventing any infection in baby b asap. Then, I had a 48 hour wait (following a full day in Emergency). So after 3 days in the hospital we're back at home.

For the record, bed rest isn't as fun as i thought it would be. It doesn't take long for the kinks and aches to set in.

The good news is everything seems to have settled down and theres no sign of the previous bleeding/spotting/leaking I've been having for the last 5+ weeks.

Still, we have a long way to go but we're optimistic that they're both little fighters and we'll pull through.

Thrusday is our next ultrasound to see how the little gaffers are doing and to determine if Baby B's sac continues to build up with fluid.

We're optimistic that everything will be well and that this little set back is more keeping mom uncomfortable for the next 20 so weeks (fingers crossed) than any cause for concern.

R & D

16 weeks 1 day

16 + weeks already.

Though if you think about it, we still have 24 weeks to go which in turn makes it feel like forever before we get to meet these little beans.

Life in our household continues along its chaotic trajectory with Dwayne playing the needy pregnant woman...opps, I meant Renee...did I just slip and say Dwayne?? Mmm, wierd.

Seriously though. Trips to the 7-11 in the middle of the night have become more frequent. Like that time Dwayne was thirsty and was desperate for orange juice and decided that since I needed milk it made sense for me to pick him up to orange juice at the same time. Yup, just another day, just another story.

As you can see from the above photo, I'm starting to look very much in the "family way". Now, imagine another 24 weeks of growth!! Yup, I'm not wanting to imagine either.

Still, I can't complain. I've been feeling great and have had lots of energy. Certainly not something I would have expected.

We have kicked it a notch slower. A bit of a scare last week and then again this week has me on 'slow mode' so now I'm just kicking my feet up as often as possible and trying to train Dwayne into being a father of twins. So far he's gotten good at the fathering part that we can expect to take place when they're about 6 yrs old (Renee, can you bring me the phone. Oh, there's someone at the door, can you get it...oh, and while your up, grab me a beer) that sort of thing. Still, we have 5 more months to get him trained for the first 6 years so I'm not sweating yet.

The good news continues with all the little things that we're both benefiting from . My hair looks wonderful and my complextion has been blemish free for several months now. Dwayne, well he's enjoying our frequent wonderful walks with the dogs, brushing up on his Dr. Seuss rhyming and reading skills and most importantly he's getting solid use out of my body pillow therefore waking up fresh well rested each morning.

So all in all, we're plugging along, growing big and round like we're supposed to and adjusting to the concept of our soon to be new status.

R & D

15 weeks 0 days

15 Weeks Already!!

(click photo to enlarge)

I can't say the time is flying by, but certainly as each week passes we get closer and closer to the midway mark and I continue to get bigger and bigger!

Recently I've been feeling the pain and aches from the second trimester. Now I know your thinking "wait, the second trimester is supposed to be the golden trimester" but one thing they don't tell you is that with twins, the rules are completely re-written.

In fact, so far, the first trimester has been a breeze. The second has come with ailments, aches, headaches and of course a growing waistline. I promise, we'll share the expanded belly pictures soon since that in itself is a laugh a minute.

Dwayne takes great pleasure in reminding me to "not eat too much, watch what I eat, and the fact that I'm 'not small to begin with'". Jeesh! I could probably get rid of the scale and measure my development by just the comments from Dwayne.

The ironic part is I haven't bought any junk food (nor eaten it for 98% of the time) but our cupboards and freezer are filled with chips and ice cream. In the rare event I have felt the need for some ice cream its always been empty. Yup, Dwayne's sympathy symptoms continue and he's been wolfing down the ice cream and chips.

Our ultra sound today was another 'surprise' ultrasound. We're already figuring that these two will be shoe ins for the movie industry as they'll be so used to preforming for the camera. At the very least we figure they'll have the Truman Show Complex...the feeling that someone's watching.

Both heartbeats are looking very strong: 153 and 155. We also got a quick glimsp of the genders. Now we're keeping it to ourselves and we're welcoming as many guesses as possible. Right now the gender guess is still VERY early so we're certainly not runnin out to buy anything pink or blue. We'll know more at the 18 week ultrasound (3 more weeks) and if more conclusive by then we'll share. Until then, we're continuing to have fun guessing and hope that anyone who reads this will guess as well.

That's about it for now. The giddyness continues and we seriously can't wait to meet these two.

R & D

14 weeks 3 day

Yesterday we had a bit of an unexpected surprise. Yes, we got to once again see our babies with an ultrasound. Click on the picture to make it bigger.

(Twin B is on left, Twin A is on right notice the nose on twin B is huge compared to Twin A...yup, he definitely has his daddy's nose....oh, did I say "HE"...mmm, must read on for an explanation).

At 14 weeks 2 days they're not much different then I remember them at 12 weeks, but certainly seeing them again continues to bring the realness to the whole experience.

Their heartbeats so far are Baby A = 156 and Baby B = 143. And though I didn't get to watch the ultrasound, at the end the technician showed me the babies and I truly believe I got the 'money' shot on Baby A. Yup, I think its a girl. Now by no means am I an expert and that is technically the "first money shot" I've actually seen in my whole portfolio of baby gender determination, but I'm going with my instincts here. Oh, and for a variety of less obvious reasons, I'm thinking Baby B is a boy.

So there you have it, in my mind we're having 1 boy and 1 girl. Now, for the record I'm about 90% sure of the girl status...and about 60% sure of the boy.

Secretly Dwayne and I are hoping for them to be both the same gender. Imagine how much less work we'll have to do if they get along really well ;)

Which ever way it pans out...we're pretty giddy about the whole thing. (for the record, I'm going to mark this statement so that in 6 months when we're sleep deprived, feeling completely helpless and out of our league, we can remember how absolutely naive we were).

Ahh, as they say, ignorance is bliss. May as well enjoy it while we can.

This is Catch Up

For many of you, you are aware that it took Dwayne and I a bit of an effort to get to this point on our journey of Parenthood.

From the moment we started till the day we were successful it was 2 yrs, 2 months and 3 weeks. Not that long for some, but eternity for us (well me anyway :)).

But alas, after many tests, surgeries, more tests, medical procedures, needles and of course the final and last blood draw confirming it all here we sit "Pregnant".

Here's the official proof and the shot that changed our world at 11 weeks and 1 day...our first glimpse that life was going to forever change, perhaps a bit more than we had thought in the first place...this is at 11 weeks, 1 day.

If you can't tell from the photo, we're expecting TWINS!!

As of today (August 24) we are 13w2d...or for those of you who prefer to count in months...we've just squeaked past our 3 month mark.

So far the whole ordeal has been relatively mild (considering I have two parasites/tumors or however you want to look at it, feeding off of me). I've had more food adversions rather than any type of nausea so I consider myself lucky on this. Just recently (in the last few days) I've started with mild cravings. Nothing major...pizza from a box (Kraft like when we were kids), a pepperoni/ketchup sandwich) but it sure beats running through all the food items I can think of and discarding them one by one as "not desirable".

So far Dwayne's been handling it pretty well...typical I think for the male species. He says he needs more sleep (due to couvade, or sympathy symptoms) and hasn't exactly catered to me that much (though yesterday while out he did pick me up some chocolate milk...but since he was already out, does it really count??).

As for the babies? We currently refer to them as Baby A and Baby B. Baby A is sitting closer to the cervix so any reference between the two implies that Baby A will be the older of the two.

Baby A is measuring a bit bigger than Baby B. Its not so much that Baby B is small, rather Baby A is big for his/her gestation date. My guess at this point is Baby A is definitly a girl...but I'm certain there's a boy in there somewhere so I'm pegging Baby B as the boy. We should (fingers crossed) know both genders in and around our 16 - 18 week u/s so right now we can fantasize however we want...some days when Dwayne's being a pain, I fantasize they're both girls. Ha, that'll serve him for even thinking life from here on in will be easy ;).