This (almost) two week period saw me traveling from Vancouver to Florida to New York to Toronto and home again.
While it was a long trip, it was also a very good distraction for a very crucial part of this pregnancy. With the twin pregnancy, I ruptured at 16weeks and 2 days so being on the road (while the days were long) the distractions were numerous and I very much appreciate having that time go as quickly as possible.
February 27 was sort of ground zero for me. I now count the days past rupture (DPR).
I arrived home 5 DPR and while I arrived with the tail end of a very persistent cold, it was good to come home to my own bed and the not so great weather (though miles better than Toronto).
At 5DPR I'm feeling ultra optimistic:
75% fear and a whooping 25% hope!!!
Saturday, February 21, 2009
Friday, February 20, 2009
February 20, 2009 - 15 weeks 2 days
In hindsight today was a very special day.
In the evening (while wearing too tight of pants) we met friends for drinks. I felt little flutters thumping against the right side of my lower abdomen. This is the exact same feeling I felt when pregnant with the boys only that occurred at 15weeks 3 days and on the left side.
As mentioned, in hindsight, these flutters are indeed quickening (or baby kicks).
A very bittersweet realization that this feeling I felt during the twin pregnancy was the first and one of the only times I felt Dayne kick. I ruptured days later and never felt another kick until 19weeks and 5days with the boys.
With this pregnancy, the flutters have continued on a daily basis and have only gotten stronger and more frequent.
In the evening (while wearing too tight of pants) we met friends for drinks. I felt little flutters thumping against the right side of my lower abdomen. This is the exact same feeling I felt when pregnant with the boys only that occurred at 15weeks 3 days and on the left side.
As mentioned, in hindsight, these flutters are indeed quickening (or baby kicks).
A very bittersweet realization that this feeling I felt during the twin pregnancy was the first and one of the only times I felt Dayne kick. I ruptured days later and never felt another kick until 19weeks and 5days with the boys.
With this pregnancy, the flutters have continued on a daily basis and have only gotten stronger and more frequent.
Thursday, February 12, 2009
February 12, 2009 - 14 weeks and 1 day
Well, today is the official day we 'told' some people. Apparently I'm not carrying that small so it wasn't a huge shocker (except for the few people who live in different cities/provinces etc).
We've (aka 'I') have decided to only tell those closest to us (Dwayne's a bit more liberal than I am with the news but that's ok, its his news too).
Its not that I don't want to share, its more because I'm so incredibly tired of having to share the news that we lost another baby - quite simply, I'm tired of it. I'd rather share the news in a very awkward situation ("um, BTW, did we mention we had a baby last month??") then have to relive our loss over and over again for months on end because so many people knew and so many people asked about it. Even today I still get questions from people I haven't seen in a while who ask "Didn't you have twins last year??". It makes it uncomfortable for both parties (though I've gotten used to it).
Alas, I can only wear my housecoat so often when people come to visit and only keep my jacket on in other people's houses for so long.
We've (aka 'I') have decided to only tell those closest to us (Dwayne's a bit more liberal than I am with the news but that's ok, its his news too).
Its not that I don't want to share, its more because I'm so incredibly tired of having to share the news that we lost another baby - quite simply, I'm tired of it. I'd rather share the news in a very awkward situation ("um, BTW, did we mention we had a baby last month??") then have to relive our loss over and over again for months on end because so many people knew and so many people asked about it. Even today I still get questions from people I haven't seen in a while who ask "Didn't you have twins last year??". It makes it uncomfortable for both parties (though I've gotten used to it).
Alas, I can only wear my housecoat so often when people come to visit and only keep my jacket on in other people's houses for so long.
Thursday, February 5, 2009
February 5, 2009 - 13 weeks 1 day
Well, its take forever to continue updating this blog.
If this baby eventually learns to read he/she will probably develop some sort of rejection issues. Pretty much we try to ignore the fact that we're pregnant.
Each moment I relish the fact that we're still pregnant is accompanied with deep seated fear. Each time I try to get even half excited my chest starts to tighten. Yup, I'm experiencing for the first time in my life panic attacks. My remedy is to ignore the fact that I'm still pregnant.
BUT ... Today is a special day where we did actually spend a little bit of time celebrating in the fact that we are indeed pregnant and so far we're pregnant with a healthy little fetus.
We had our Nuchal Translucency Ultrasound today. The ultrasound coupled with blood tests support the fact that we're carrying a healthy baby. The odds of this baby carrying any type of Trisomy issues are better than that of a 22 year old. Since the odds increase with the women's age, I figure its not bad for an old broad like me!!
We took a huge sigh of relief today and have been downgraded to only a 5% chance of a reoccuring loss.
So, that really equates to:
85% fear and 15% hope (no one ever said statistics made sense!?!)
At this point Dwayne and I have decided to share the news but since our new nephew is due in a matter of 4 days, we've opted to hold off on sharing the news so that we don't diminish anything for the new little one.
If this baby eventually learns to read he/she will probably develop some sort of rejection issues. Pretty much we try to ignore the fact that we're pregnant.
Each moment I relish the fact that we're still pregnant is accompanied with deep seated fear. Each time I try to get even half excited my chest starts to tighten. Yup, I'm experiencing for the first time in my life panic attacks. My remedy is to ignore the fact that I'm still pregnant.
BUT ... Today is a special day where we did actually spend a little bit of time celebrating in the fact that we are indeed pregnant and so far we're pregnant with a healthy little fetus.
We had our Nuchal Translucency Ultrasound today. The ultrasound coupled with blood tests support the fact that we're carrying a healthy baby. The odds of this baby carrying any type of Trisomy issues are better than that of a 22 year old. Since the odds increase with the women's age, I figure its not bad for an old broad like me!!
We took a huge sigh of relief today and have been downgraded to only a 5% chance of a reoccuring loss.
So, that really equates to:
85% fear and 15% hope (no one ever said statistics made sense!?!)
At this point Dwayne and I have decided to share the news but since our new nephew is due in a matter of 4 days, we've opted to hold off on sharing the news so that we don't diminish anything for the new little one.
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